Touch
by diablosflame
Summary: After waking up from a bad night she can't remember, eighteen year old Natsuki Kuga, a troubled high school teen, meets Shizuru Fujino, a twenty nine year old primary school teacher, who touches her life in dramatic ways. Friend, confidante, lover, Shizuru comes to mean all these things to her in the precious moments they spend together.
1. A Rough Night

"Ugh."

Eighteen year old Natsuki Kuga lifted her head from the grass where it lay and wondered how exactly she had gotten there. She felt a pain in her face and along her shoulders and realized that the horrible taste in her mouth was blood. Her head throbbed and pounded from the alcohol that she didn't remember drinking.

_Where am I?_

She didn't recognize the yard she was lying in. She pushed herself tentatively up, first to a sitting position then to standing shakily on her legs. She looked down and saw that there was dried blood on her shirt and her knuckles were bruised and battered.

_What the hell happened?_

She looked around. It was dark out and her eyes kept losing focus but her sense of direction was still good and she quickly oriented herself and found herself walking in the direction of the street. Once there she turned in the direction that would be most likely to take her home and started down the sidewalk, her steps unsure and her body heavy with fatigue. One name kept coming into her thoughts. _Where the hell are you Nao?_ She couldn't explain how but she knew that Nao would know what had happened. She walked for a while, each step more sure than the last. A wave of nausea struck her had and she leaned against a nearby wall to steady herself.

"Are you alright?"

She looked around her. She found herself in a more residential part of town, a few apartment buildings were to her left and right and she was leaning against the wall of one of them. She found the speaker looking at her as she approached, a woman less than a head shorter than her with long auburn hair. She wore a simple skirt and blouse that somehow contrasted her burgundy eyes which were watching her with curiosity and worry.

"Hello?"

Natsuki didn't immediately respond. _What the hell should I say? Do I look alright to you?_ "I...m fine."

The woman drew closer, close enough now to see the dried blood on her shirt and the black eye she was sure she had. "Oh my, you look terrible."

A smile slowly spread across Natsuki's face. She leaned back against the wall and laughed aloud, earning a strange look from the brunette watching her. Through the alcohol and adrenaline fueled haze the last thing that had crossed her mind was her appearance. "Yeah, I'll bet I do."

The woman reached a hand out to help her up. "I live nearby. Come with me and we'll get you cleaned up."

Natsuki swatted her hand away. "I don't..."

With lightning reflexes the woman grabbed her wrist and held her with a tight grip. Her voice dropped into a more serious tone. "I'm not leaving you like this."

Natsuki's every instinct told her to fight, to push her away and run but she was tired and the promise of care did much to ease her mind. "Okay...okay."

She smiled. "Good." The woman helped her to her feet and put an arm around her shoulders to steady her on their way down the sidewalk. "It's not far, and I have food if you're hungry." Natsuki's stomach nearly growled in response and she tried to remember the last time she had eaten. She remembered eating just before going to a party but whether that was yesterday or a week ago she didn't know.

She was lead by the woman to a nearby apartment building and up a flight of stairs to the second floor. She let her go for long enough to fish out a set of keys and unlock her door, then was lead again into a small but quaint one bedroom apartment. She sat down on a nearby couch and the woman turned into a flurry of action. "I'll get you some soup and an ice pack. Lie down, I won't be long."

Natsuki did as she was bid and lay down on the couch. It was comfortable, made of beige cloth that felt cold against her skin. She lay her head back on a throw pillow and started breathing easier. As promised, it wasn't long before she could smell fresh soup and the woman handed her a frozen ice pack. "Here, for your eye." Natsuki pressed the ice pack against her face and winced at the sudden, unpleasant feeling of cold. It quickly subsided and helped take away the pain in her face as well.

She sat up and noticed a steaming bowl on a coffee table before her. Without wasting time she set the ice pack down next to it and started eating. Before she knew it she had eaten the whole bowl. The woman merely smiled. "I guess you were hungry. More?"

Natsuki nodded and the woman obliged. She ate the next bowl slower, appreciating the elegant flavor of the soup. "So, what's your name?"

Natsuki took in a long breath and thought about how to respond. She didn't know anything about this woman and she didn't want to give her any personal information. On the other hand, the woman had done nothing but help her and had even invited her into her home and fed her, a total stranger with blood on her shirt. "Natsuki. Yours?"

"That's a pretty name." The woman smiled at her and Natsuki grew afraid that she wasn't going to answer her. "I'm Shizuru. Nice to meet you."

Natsuki took a good look at her and, in the light, she realized that she was beautiful. Her olive skin was smooth and blemish free without much need for makeup, her long hair was silky and fell in waves down her elegant shoulders, passed her ample breasts and nearly to her waist, and her eyes, those reddish eyes that seemed to fill her with warmth. "Do you always pick up strangers, Shizuru?"

Shizuru chuckled. "Only ones as cute as you." Natsuki looked away and returned her attention to the soup on the table. "Do you live around here?"

As she ate she felt better, her head stopped hurting as much and she was able to think clearer. "Yeah, I live on the other side of town." She also realized that it was a weekday and that she had to be in school in the morning. "Crap, I need to get home."

"I can drive you there, if you want."

It seemed as good a choice as any, and it meant that she wouldn't have to walk. "You don't mind?"

"Not at all." Shizuru leaned in close and for a moment her heart was thundering in her ears. She couldn't hear anything else, think of anything else but the woman who was inching ever closer to her. Gently, Shizuru took a damp cloth and started to wipe some of the blood away from her mouth. "What happened to you? Were you attacked?"

"I don't remember clearly." Natsuki lowered her head and felt ashamed. Something about Shizuru made her question and doubt herself and her choices.

"I'm sorry." Shizuru continued to wipe away blood from her face until it was clean. "I shouldn't have asked."

Natsuki stayed quiet, not wanting to say any more than she already had. Not wanting this stranger to think even less of her. She finished the bowl of soup in front of her and when she stood it was on more stable legs. She followed Shizuru out of the apartment and out to the parking lot, to a new looking red Chrysler that unlocked with a button press. Natsuki fell into the leather seat and nearly melted into it. Her eyes closed and she felt suddenly very tired.

"You'll have to direct me."

After a short, ten minute drive the car pulled up in front of the house Natsuki shared with her mother. "Thanks." Natsuki's eyes were lowered and her head was down. She had never before cared what others thought of her but for some reason she didn't want to show any more weakness to this woman.

Shizuru's only response was a soft smile. "Take care, Natsuki."

Natsuki left the car and watched from her porch until it drove out of sight. She reached for the door knob and took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding in. "Where the fuck have you been?"

Her mother, Saeko Kuga, sat at the table with a cigarette in one hand and the other balled into a fist. It was easy to tell from her mannerisms that she was upset and very busy as well. "I was out."

"It's kinda late, don't you think? Or have you forgotten about school?"

"Sorry, mom."

Saeko's face shifted from anger to disappointment and she exhaled her response as almost a sigh. "Go to bed."

"Yeah."

Natsuki made her way quietly to her bedroom and her comfortable bed that she so desperately wanted to see. She fell into it face first, fully clothed and her last thoughts before drifting away to sleep was of the woman she had met that night.

-WA-

The morning came and Natsuki's eyes peeled open. Her headache was gone, she never had terrible hangovers, but her eye still felt crusty, she felt a gash on her lip from where it had been bleeding, and her bones and muscles ached. All in all, she had felt better. She slowly got out of bed, exhaling an audible sigh as she stood up and felt her legs whine in protest. _At least I get to sit at school. _

She showered and dressed. The house was empty except for her, Saeko was usually out of the house by the time Natsuki woke up. Natsuki prepared a simple breakfast of oatmeal for herself and ate alone, in silence. After eating she cleaned the bowl and spoon she used and set off to school.

On the way towards the high school she passed the primary school and as she walked by she noticed a familiar red Chrysler parked in front. She considered trying to find Shizuru or waiting by her car until she came out again but thought against it. She reasoned that Shizuru would want nothing to do with her after seeing her in such a state as last night.

She kept walking and soon arrived at her school where she began her search for Nao Yuuki. She didn't have to look far. The red head was a notoriously bad egg and so she usually hung out with the rest of the bad eggs behind the gymnasium. As soon as she spotted Natsuki a smirk crossed her face. "You look like you had a rough night."

"Yeah. Mind filling me in?"

Nao's smirk grew. "Oh, you don't remember?" Natsuki's angry look was all the response she needed. "It was probably all the alcohol. You drank almost a damned bottle by yourself."

"Why do I feel like I got in a fight?"

"I may have convinced you to fight this guy I don't like." Natsuki scowled. "You won, if that makes you feel better."

"It doesn't."

Natsuki walked away and Nao let her go, knowing not to push the issue any farther. Natsuki had always been somewhat of a troublemaker but over her high school years she had gotten progressively worse about it. Now she drank herself stupid almost nightly and ended up in more fights than anyone else in the school. Her and Nao were considered the outcasts, the bad kids. As Natsuki walked down the hallways to her homeroom many people made sure to get out of her way. Many looks were cast at her face that she reasoned must look terrible but she didn't care.

Sitting through classes had always been a bore for Natsuki but she still ached and that gave her something to focus on until the final bell rang and she was ready to go home. Ordinarily she would find Nao and hang out for a while after school but she was still angry and tired and home seemed like the place to be at the moment. She decided to blow the others off, even when they tried to get her attention, as she left the front doors and out onto the street.

On her way home she passed the primary school again and saw the now familiar red Chrysler sitting outside. It unknowingly drew a smile to her face and she stopped to look at it. She looked at herself in the reflection of the glass and saw how bad her black eye looked, her lip was slightly swollen and cut and she still looked somewhat disheveled. It was the first time she had seen her reflection in a while and her first instinct was to punch the glass window in. _I don't look that bad. Do I?_

"Hi."

The simple word took her off guard and she spun around, pressing her back to the car, her eyes wide and her fists clenched and ready to fight. Shizuru stood in front of her with one of her light smiles and an amused look. "You look better than you did last night." Natsuki's heart was thundering in her ears again, the same as it had the last night. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

"No." Natsuki was angry that she got snuck up on and had almost taken a swing at Shizuru. Seeing the smile on Shizuru's face calmed her and she lowered her hands. "Just startled me."

Shizuru noticed the difference in her temperament. She had been vulnerable last night but now she wasn't. Now she just looked tired. "Do you want a ride home?"

Shizuru knew the answer even before she asked. She could see it written on her face, in her body language and posture. "No. I'll walk."

"Okay."

Shizuru didn't push the issue, she merely walked around the car and unlocked the driver's side door. Natsuki turned away from the car and continued down the sidewalk wondering why exactly she had stopped and why seeing that woman made her feel lightheaded. She watched her car pass her by and the soreness in her body made her wish she had taken her up on that ride.

The way home was tough but she made it and collapsed onto the couch. Before long she was asleep.

She was awakened by the sound of the front door opening. When she opened her eyes her mother was looking down at her with a look of disdain. "Look at you, sleeping in the middle of the day. Must be nice."

Natsuki let out an audible sigh. "I had a long night."

"A long night of screwing off with that Yuuki girl, no doubt."

Natsuki didn't respond. She merely continued to lay on her back staring straight up at the ceiling. Saeko didn't press the issue, she merely left her daughter there and closed the door to her room. Natsuki, now alone, let her thoughts drift away. _No one cares. No one really cares about me. Even mom doesn't care. I'm all alone._ Her thoughts continued until she pictured a face, a serene face that had only ever shone her a smile and a face that had been there when she needed it.

Natsuki got up quickly from the couch and ran to her room to dress. She threw on a simple t-shirt and a pair of running shorts and left the house. She jogged down the street, at first heading in no particular direction, but eventually she found herself on the other side of the town. The apartment buildings loomed before her and before she knew it she was amongst them, standing in front of the building that Shizuru lived in. She stood in front of the door, hand raised as if to knock on it when it opened and familiar eyes met hers. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Shizuru looked at her with an amused look in her eyes.

"Would you like to come in?"

Shizuru stepped aside for Natsuki, who entered the apartment and looked around. She noticed more about it than she had the previous night. The main room was only sparingly furnished; the couch she had sat on the previous night, a coffee table, a television set and a bookshelf against one wall. She could see the kitchen from where she was standing, simple but very clean and the door to the bedroom stood slightly ajar but she couldn't see into it. She imagined it looked much like the main room.

"Have a seat." Shizuru brushed passed her and headed towards the kitchen. "Would you like some tea? I was just brewing some."

"Sure, thanks."

Natsuki buried her head in her hands as she heard the sound of a traditional teapot whistling from the kitchen. She wasn't much of a tea drinker but she felt utterly empty and thought it might be nice to drink something warm. When Shizuru handed her a cup she took it and sipped at it, enjoying the mellow flavor that seemed to her to be entirely Shizuru.

They sat together on that couch in a silence that neither of them wanted to break. Natsuki's eyes were on the floor, on the soft carpet that covered the room.

The thought fell from her head and was in her mouth before she even knew she had said it. "Why did you help me?"

There was no immediate answer and Natsuki started to wonder if she herself didn't know why she had done it. Finally, Shizuru exhaled, as if to calm herself, and responded. "I saw you, hurt and alone, and I thought if that were me I wouldn't want to be alone."

Natsuki's eyes were lowered, her hands gripped around the warm cup of tea that she had brought her. It was special to her, just for that reason she didn't want to let it go. Her voice was droning, full of weariness as she said, "I am alone." She felt a hand lightly brush her own, an oddly comforting hand that wrapped around hers to let her know that she was wrong.

She turned her head and was caught in those burgundy eyes, eyes that never left hers as she found herself drawn closer to them. There was a fire within them that she had never seen in another woman before. Desire. She drew closer, her eyes still locked with Shizuru's, their faces mere inches away from each other. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her pulse racing to the tune of something she couldn't understand or explain.

Their lips touched, barely a kiss but it was magical. It took her breath away like no kiss ever had before. She didn't know why this woman had such an effect on her but she did and for the instant they were together she felt lighter than air. Everything in her mind seemed to melt away and only the moment mattered, only the soft feel of her lips, the warmth coming from her body, the smooth skin of her hand that still held hers. For a brief instant Natsuki felt whole.

Then it was over, and she realized what she had done.

_Author's Note:_

_This is my first time back to this site in quite a while. I can't say how long this story is going to be but I do have a few ideas for it so I hope you like it._


	2. Aimless

Before she knew it Natsuki's lips were on her and she couldn't think, she couldn't react, she couldn't breathe. The soft feeling of Natsuki's lips against hers was exquisite and left Shizuru wanting more. She would have enjoyed it if she could have, but before she could it was over. Natsuki pulled away and, from the look on her face, she was just as surprised as Shizuru was. The feeling of her lips gently pressed against hers lingered, like a pleasant scent, and brought a smile to her face, a genuine smile that she rarely bore.

Natsuki, for her part, looked as red as a tomato. Her eyes were cast away from Shizuru trying to find something, anything, to look at. The room was eerily silent, neither of them said a word. Shizuru wanted to say something, to defuse the tension in the room but before she could Natsuki rose up from the couch and walked quickly for the door. Before Shizuru could stop her Natsuki was gone leaving her alone.

_How long has it been, now?_ It had been a long time since Shizuru had felt another woman's touch. She had been the same age as Natsuki, then, and so had her girlfriend at the time. Thinking of it made her want to vomit so she tossed those thoughts aside and focused on her latest kiss. She wondered exactly what that kiss meant, if Natsuki even understood why she kissed her. _The girl's just a teenager. Getting involved with her would be trouble. _

A smile crossed her face. _Could be fun, too._

-TOUCH-

"Shizuru."

Shizuru was sitting at her desk, her students had gone, her work was done and she was lost in thought when a woman's voice brought her back to reality. She looked up to see her tall, red-headed coworker looking down at her with a worried look. Midori Sugiura was the oldest of the primary school's teachers and had been a good friend to Shizuru over the years. Shizuru put on a smile like she put on a pair of glasses. "Sorry, I was lost in thought."

"Some of us teachers are going to a bar after work. You should come with us."

Shizuru didn't want to go. "Thanks, Midori, but I'm looking forward to a quiet evening at home."

Midori, who wouldn't be put off so easily, was insistent. "How did I know you were going to say that?" Midori adjusted the glasses on her face and nearly stared Shizuru down. "Look, you've been avoiding us. I don't know why and I don't care but I really want you to come out with us tonight, okay? I'm worried about you."

Shizuru sighed. Midori was a notoriously difficult woman to say no to, and as one of the only people who knew her secret she had an even harder time resisting her. "Fine, I'll go."

Midori smiled her 'I always win' smile at Shizuru and she had to fight not to roll her eyes. "I'll let everyone know, then."

"Who else is coming?"

"Haruka's coming, of course. I think she'll drag Yukino along, you know how they're inseperable." Everyone knew that Yukino and Haruka did everything together. Best friends, though there was a time when Shizuru thought they were something more. She had felt excited to meet them and not feel so alone but it turned out to be false. The two of them had merely been friends since childhood, though Shizuru still had her doubts about them.

"Ms. Sofue and Mr. Hanamura from Class B are coming." Shizuru didn't know much about the teachers from Class B, the other wing of the primary school. Both groups tended to stick to themselves, though Midori, as highest ranked amongst the teachers, often tried to get them together.

"A few of my friends are coming." Midori's friends were an odd bunch; some were old college friends, some were random people she had met in other bars and some were just plain weird. Shizuru never asked how she met them.

"Count me in."

That was how Shizuru ended up sitting in a run down bar surrounded by people she didn't really know and had no interest in socializing with. She was sitting next to Yukino who looked just as miserable as she did watching Haruka make a fool of herself on the dancefloor. At least there was some amusement in that. Some of Midori's "friends" had turned out to be quite the odd bunch, they were loud and boisterous and Shizuru constantly worried they were going to be kicked out.

Yukino took a sip of the drink in front of her and set it back down. "Lovely night isn't it?"

The sun had gone down since they had been in the bar and the air was cool without being cold, perfect weather for Shizuru. She wore a light sweater over her blouse with a long skirt and long socks to keep her legs warm. The last place she wanted to be was stuck inside with a bunch of people she could barely speak to. She put on her smile and responded to Yukino. "It is."

She took a long drink from her glass, a fruity concoction that had sounded good to her when she ordered it but did little for her after she received it. She had spent more of her time at the bar with Yukino than she had with anyone else; Midori had been circling the bar talking to everyone she invited and Haruka had been drinking before they arrived, which Shizuru thought was a great idea considering the price of drinks in the bar, and the teachers from the Class B were caught up in their own conversation. Midori's friends turned out to be a wild bunch as well and Shizuru did her best to avoid any of them. So she sat at the bar with Yukino, sipped at her expensive drink and watched everyone else playing the fools.

She hadn't noticed that Yukino had gotten up, likely to use the restroom, so when she turned around she was surprised to find someone else sitting at the bar next to her. She looked over and had to do a double take, the woman sitting next to her was the spitting image of Natsuki. From her long, dark hair to her emerald green eyes to the way she carried herself she looked exactly like the young girl that had been in her mind. As she studied the woman's face, though, she could see her age and realized that she was a good deal older than Natsuki.  
"Do you need something?"

The woman's voice was husky and Shizuru found it pleasant. She then realized that she had been staring and promptly turned her head. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it." The woman seemed nonchalant and Shizuru sighed in relief. She had gotten much worse reactions from people who had caught her staring at them. She watched her out of the corner of her eye and noticed that she was alone, hunched over the bar with her eyes forward as if she didn't want to be there. Shizuru could identify with that sentiment, she spun around to sit as she was sitting. The woman cut her eyes to look at her. "What's your name?"

She asked in her husky voice that Shizuru found pleasant. Shizuru would normally have avoided that question but the more she watched and spoke to this woman the more she found she liked her. "Shizuru. Yours?"

She wondered if she would answer, if she wouldn't just ignore her return question. "Saeko."

She liked the name, tossed it around in her head a few times to try it on. _Saeko? Saeko! Saeko... It fits._ "What do you do for a living, Ms. Saeko?"

"Just Saeko," much like Natsuki she didn't seem to enjoy pleasantries, "and I'm in real estate. You?"

"I teach at the primary school."

"A teacher, eh?" Saeko didn't move to indicate that she was surprised but something in her voice told Shizuru that she was. She didn't say anything else for a time and Shizuru was content to just leave it alone. She looked back to see that Midori's friends had all but taken over the dance floor and were taking turns seeing who could look the most foolish. "Your friends are annoying."

A wry smile crossed Shizuru's face, one of her rare genuine smiles. "They're not my friends." Shizuru thought about it. "Most of them, anyway."

She noticed through the mirror behind the bar that Saeko smirked, merely a quick curling of her lip, before it returned to her normal position. Silence reigned after that, neither of them speaking but neither of them wanting to. She sat next to Saeko and nursed her expensive drink.

"Love is such a foolish thing, isn't it?"

"What?" Shizuru wasn't ready for the turn of the conversation.

"I was just thinking about my daughter." Shizuru stayed quiet and let Saeko vent. "After all I've done for her, after all I suffered to make sure she had a roof over her head and food in her stomach and this his how she treats me. Stays out all night. Drinks and fights all the time. I don't even see her most of the time. Yet, even after all that, she's still my only daughter and I can't help but love her."

"She sounds like a handful."

Saeko laughed aloud. "I remember when she was a baby. Everyone said she was the cutest, that she looked just like me. I would take her everywhere with me. After my husband, her father, passed away she became my world. I gave her everything and now I just... I just want her to be happy. I would be okay with whatever she did if it just made her happy. The worst part is having to see how miserable she is and knowing I can't do anything for her."

Shizuru listened patiently like she always did. "Have you told her any of this?"

"No." Saeko returned to her drink. "Sorry, I didn't mean to put all that on you."

"It sounds like you needed to tell somebody."

"Thanks for listening."

Saeko returned to her drink and it was about that time that Shizuru noticed Midori approaching. "Hey, what have you been doing over here by yourself? Come on, we're going to do some karaoke."

-TOUCH-

After singing karaoke for the better part of an hour, Shizuru headed home and fell asleep with thoughts of Natsuki in her head. She woke up thinking about her, went through her daily routine thinking about her and drove to work thinking about her. As soon as she stepped through the doors into the building, though, her thoughts immediately shifted to work. It was something she had made a habit of, as soon as she set foot in the building she was Ms. Fujino and had to act like it.

Before she knew it her lunch break came and she walked out to her car, where she usually sat and ate the meal she had prepared herself the night before. Since she had gone out last night, however, she hadn't had a chance to prepare lunch for herself so she had the intention of driving to a local cafe she liked. As she walked up to her car she happened to run into a familiar face walking down the street.

"Hi, Natsuki."

Natsuki had been walking passed and spun around when she heard Shizuru's voice. Her eyes widened when she saw her and something about her facial expression told Shizuru that she was nervous. "H-hey."

"I was just going to lunch. Would you care to join me?"

Natsuki looked around her as if seeing if anyone she knew was around. _Or perhaps she's looking for a way out_. Finally, she seemed to relax a bit. "Yeah. Okay."

The ride to the cafe was silent and somewhat awkward to Shizuru. Once during the drive she looked over to see Natsuki looking a bit agitated and nervous, sitting with her hands in her lap and looking straight forward. She thought even nervous Natsuki looked cute.

Natsuki walked in ahead of her and held the door for her. Shizuru found it adorable but Natsuki turned her head to avoid eye contact. Shizuru waited for her to follow and stood in front of her so that their eyes met. As soon as they did an electric jolt ran through her, a feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. "Thank you."

Natsuki looked away awkwardly. "Yeah, you're welcome."

They sat down at a table near the back of the room and placed their order. Shizuru noticed that there were only a few customers around, not unusual as most people would head to a fast food restaurant for their lunch hour but Shizuru preferred the calm atmosphere of the cafe. It had become her regular lunch spot.

They sat quietly for long minutes, neither of them knowing what to say. It was a comfortable silence, Shizuru thought, a rare moment where nothing was just the right thing to say.

"Love is such a foolish thing, isn't it?"

It was Natsuki who spoke first and Shizuru was struck by her words, previously spoken by a woman who looked just like her. "It seems like all I do is let people down. Friends and family... I just can't get it right." Natsuki exhaled, her emerald eyes on the table. Shizuru wanted them to look at her. "I'm just a loser."

Shizuru reached across the table and gently took Natsuki's cheek in her hand. Those gorgeous eyes finally looked up and met Shizuru's eager gaze. "I don't think so."

"You don't know me."

Natsuki didn't break their gaze and Shizuru felt herself falling into her. "I want to know you."

Their gaze remained locked and Shizuru felt her heart rate increase. Her breathing became labored and suddenly she wasn't conscious of where she was or who might be watching, she just wanted to take those lips with her own, to feel a bit more of what she had felt the other night. Shizuru leaned across the table and kissed her. More than the light touch of the first time Shizuru pressed herself into it, her lips melded with Natsuki's and the world seemed to stop around them. Shizuru closed her eyes, lost in the feeling that she had been searching for. Natsuki didn't pull away.

After it was done, Shizuru straightened up and smiled a bright genuine smile, one she found Natsuki could always coax out of her. Natsuki wore a shell shocked expression on her face. "Now we're even."

The food arrived promptly and Shizuru realized how hungry she was. She hadn't eaten the night before and had skipped breakfast in the morning so she ate ravenously. Shizuru was finsihed eating long before Natsuki and watched her eat in a slow, methodical manner that seemed against her nature. She had imagined the girl to be a fast eater, someone who didn't waste time on something so mundane, but watching her eat as if she enjoyed every bite taught her something new about her. She wanted to know more about her, she wanted to know everything about her.

"You're staring at me."

Shizuru hadn't realized it and when Natsuki pointed it out she only smiled. "Am I?"

"Yes." Natsuki's face turned flush before she turned her head to face away from Shizuru.

Shizuru turned her attention to looking out a nearby window. She watched the cars pass by, wondering if any of them noticed her watching them. They moved so fast, like the people inside of them, just trying to get from one place to another but not really understanding why. Why? Why anything? Why wake up? Why go to sleep only to have to wake up again? Why?

"Do you want to have dinner some time?"

She was deep in thought and only barely heard the question from across the table. Her attention returned to Natsuki who was looking right at her. "What was that?"

"I asked if you wanted to go on a date with me?"

Shizuru knew the answer, and through all the fears and doubts she had about her feelings for the younger woman the answer she spoke came from her very core, from the deepest part of her heart.

"Yes."

_-Author's Note-_

_Thank you for the warm welcome. Seeing familiar names in my review section brought a smile to my face. Some of you have been following my stories for some time now and I'm humbled that you keep coming back to my stories, no matter how different they sound. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter of this latest fiction about my OTP._


	3. First Date Tension

She liked women. This wasn't a sudden realization for Natsuki but rather a long process that began months before she met the woman who made her realize it.

Now she sat in class waiting eagerly for the bell to ring so she could get to her first date with said woman. She could barely sit still, her anticipation making her even more anxious to leave school than she normally was. She kept telling herself to stop counting the seconds, the long minutes it would take for class to be over, instead she lowered her head and tried to pay attention to what was being said. _No good, I'm too nervous._

When the bell rang she had to fight her urge to jump out of her desk and run out of the door. Her excitement threatened to explode out of her but she held herself back and slowly got out of her seat, gathered her things into her satchel and made for the door. She was just out of the door when she was approached by a red-head she was still upset at.

"Long time, no see, Kuga."

"Nao." Natsuki said her name through gritted teeth, still upset over having been abandoned earlier in the week. "What do you want?"

"To talk." Nao wore her trademark smirk. "We're still friends, right?"

"I still hate you."

"You've always hated me, but we've always been friends. Are you still pissed at me about the other night?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, get over it already." Natsuki turned her back to Nao and walked down the hallway. Nao followed quickly after her. "Look, I'm throwing this party tonight and I know you'll wanna be there. We're gonna have all kinds of beer and..."

"I can't." Natsuki announced almost haughtily. "I have plans tonight."

Nao seemed shocked. "**You** have plans. Plans that are more important than coming to a party and getting trashed with your best friend."

"Way more important. Not to mention that I hate you."

Nao shifted gears quickly, her usual smirk fading though Natsuki couldn't tell with her back turned. "Who do you have plans with? Are you going out with someone? Why didn't you tell me?"

Natsuki looked back at her wearing a smirk as if she had taken it from Nao's face. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Natsuki walked through one of the rear exits to the school leaving a fuming Nao behind her. Her excitement built with every step she took away from the school and closer to her home but so did her nervousness. _I don't want to screw this up._

On the way home she walked passed the primary school and noticed Shizuru's car was out front, as it usually was. The red Chrysler made her heart skip as she walked passed it, almost expecting to hear Shizuru's sunny voice behind her, to spin around and see her there with her now familiar bright smile and looking at her with those burgundy eyes that always seemed to shine. Shizuru was nowhere in sight, however, and she wondered if that was an ill omen for their date.

Her heart was thumping somewhere in her throat when she arrived home and opened the door to find the house empty, as usual. Her mother often worked passed six and frequently went from the office to a local bar she frequented, sometimes not coming home until early the next morning. These nights were becoming more frequent lately and she couldn't help but wonder if she was to blame for that.

Natsuki had gotten used to the silence of the house as she made her way through the house and to her bedroom. Her bedroom was her sanctuary, her one solace in a world that seemed to have no place for her. Whenever she felt nervous or stressed, angry or sad, calm or crazed she could always find some measure of peace in her room. The walls bore few personalizations, only a single poster that hung directly above her bed, her room was sparsely furnished with a single bed, a barely used television in one corner of the room and a single dresser, her closet contained more boxes of junk than clothes. To spite it's sparseness, or perhaps because of it, Natsuki loved her bedroom.

She sat on the edge of her bed for a time, trying to shake the nervousness that had taken root in her mind. She lay down on her bed with her legs dangling off of the edge in a way that somehow made her feel like a little girl. "What am I so nervous about?" she asked aloud as if just the question itself would calm her. _Why am I so nervous? I've never been this nervous before. _

-TOUCH-

She knew he liked her.

It was obvious.

She had agreed to go out with him because, unlike most of the boys in her class, she had respect for him. He wasn't popular but he wasn't an outcast either, instead preferring to keep to himself and his small group of club members. He did kendo, she didn't understand it but she loved watching it; the tension before the first strike, the clack of the bamboo shinai as they parried, the skill involved in each slash and cut and that final strike that seemed to her to strike like a gong, like a deep, penetrating sound that filled the air. He didn't party, or at least was never at the parties she went to, but she decided to go out with him anyway.

Their date started out awkward and ended just as awkwardly. As it turned out he knew everything there was to know about kendo but knew very little else which led to her listening to him talk about kendo for two straight hours. Whatever interest she had had in the sport died that night. He played the perfect gentlemen; he wore clothes that she thought were way too formal, held doors open for her which she found annoying and even pulled her chair out for her at the restaurant which she found to be insulting. _As if I can't sit in my own damn chair._ He was boring but something else was missing, something she felt the absence of all too clearly.

It was at the end of the night that she realized what it was.

By then she was thoroughly bored and wanted nothing more than to be in her room and away from him. The sun had gone down and a beautiful, star-filled sky floated above them. He had walked her to the door and as he stood nervously in front of her he asked her if she had enjoyed herself. Natsuki lied and, in a bold move, he took a step forward and kissed her on the lips. The moment should have been magical. She had heard from some of the other girls that your first kiss was something that you would never forget but this was nothing like that. It was then that Natsuki knew what had been missing. Passion. She felt nothing for him.

When the kiss was over he looked at her expectantly but whatever he was looking for he wouldn't find there. His face quickly shifted to disappointment and as he walked away he muttered, "You could have just said no." Natsuki stood in place and watched until his car was well down the street and out of sight.

-TOUCH-

The more and more she thought about that night, she realized that she hadn't been nervous before or during that date, certainly nothing like she was now. Perhaps it was because she knew what the outcome would be or perhaps it was because she hadn't cared.

She noticed the time and hopped out of bed, needing to take a bath before heading out for her date. She filled the bathtub with hot water, she liked her bathwater to be almost scalding hot, and slowly dipped herself in. The water felt heavenly and washed stress away leaving her calm and lucid. She washed her long, dark hair then combed it out in long waves until it was silken and straight, she scrubbed her skin until it was as silken as her hair and after she was done she lifted herself slowly out of the tub and drained the water.

In her room she pored over her clothing, trying to find something suitable and coming up short. Most of her clothing was meant to be comfortable and casual, more function than form and she lamented her lack of fashion sense. She took a deep, calming breath. _Maybe she won't care how I'm dressed._

"What are you doing?"

Natsuki looked to her bedroom door where her mother stood, looking at her with an unreadable expression on her face. Her mother was still dressed for work, dark slacks and a white button-up shirt covered in her green vest that she thought was tacky, her hair was still tied in a tight bun and her feet were bare where she had most likely kicked her shoes off in the living room. Natsuki looked around her and realized that she had scattered most of her clothes around her bed and on her dresser. She felt like a fool. "Trying to decide what to wear."

"Going out, then?"

Saeko's voice seemed almost uncaring, a blank statement that held no personal meaning for her. "Yeah."  
"Don't wake me up."

Saeko walked away from the door and Natsuki felt colder, if only for a moment. She and her mother had a rocky relationship but lately it had taken a turn for the worse and now Saeko barely paid attention to her daughter. Natsuki let out a sigh, at a loss for what to do, how to repair the damage that had been done between mother and daughter. For now she focused on her task at hand, picking out an appropriate outfit for her date.

She settled on a simple t-shirt and slacks and had just finished dressing when her phone buzzed. **I'm waiting outside. -Shizuru**

If she had been nervous before, nothing compared to her long walk down the walkway towards the red Chrysler. Her pulse thundered in her ears and every footstep sounded like a death knell. She thought her heart might explode on the way and seeing Shizuru get out of the car to stand next to it only increased those feelings. Shizuru had gone all out for their date; she was wearing an elegant, low-cut black dress that accented her olive skin, her hair was tied back into a loose ponytail with her long, auburn hair falling in waves down her back and her burgundy lipstick matched perfectly with her eyes which were all over Natsuki as she approached.

Natsuki stopped and stood at arms length from Shizuru, stunned to silence by her appearance. She had never seen someone look so beautiful, so radiant, so ravishing. Suddenly she felt inadequate, but a simple look from Shizuru took those feelings away. "Hi."

It was a simple word and Natsuki watched it leave her mouth like a sigh. Natsuki's voice sounded almost childish, it sounded unsure. "Y-you look a-amazing."

"Thanks." Shizuru took two tentative steps towards her and closed the distance between them. Her hand reached out for Natsuki's cheek, their eyes never left each other as if locked in a death struggle. "So do you." A sound escaped Natsuki's lips, a sound of disbelief, but something in Shizuru's tone or her words made her forget about it. Suddenly all her thoughts were on the beautiful woman standing mere inches from her. "So, what are we going to do?"

Natsuki froze. She hadn't thought this far ahead and to think any further than this had never occurred to her. In truth she didn't care what they did as long as she was with her. The look on her face must have given her away because Shizuru's mouth slowly turned up into a smile. "I-I hadn't really thought about that."

"I thought that might be the case. Get in."

Natuki sat down in the car and used the time to catch her breath. When Shizuru took her place behind the wheel she noticed a pleasant smell in the car. She felt it keenly when Shizuru's hand lightly brushed hers while reaching for the shifter. From her smile Natsuki reasoned that it was purposeful. "Where are we going?"

Shizuru didn't answer and put the car in gear. They drove in silence, a silence Natsuki found oddly comfortable. She didn't feel the need to fill the air with meaningless small talk, instead enjoying the time she was able to spend with the other woman. Shizuru didn't seem to mind it either. Occasionally her hand would lightly brush against Natsuki's hand or her thigh and send a shiver down her spine. She had never felt these feelings before, but she could see herself getting used to it.

When the car stopped it was in front of a restaurant like no other Natsuki had ever seen. The place was ritzy; a valet came to park the car for them, a large man in a suit smiled at them as he held the door open for the them and the maitre d eyed Natsuki with suspicion. Her own choice of clothing was now seeming very out of place but Shizuru didn't seem to mind as they stepped up to the podium and the man readjusted his glasses. "Do you have a reservation, Miss?"

"It should be under Fujino."

The man thumbed through, what at first appeared to be, a thick leather book that contained a cleverly hidden tablet and nodded when he found the appropriate entry. He eyed Natsuki warily again but Shizuru cleared her throat loudly and he seemed to calm himself. "Right this way."

Natsuki looked around her at the splendor of the restaurant; silk curtains covered each window, some of which were open to let in what little light there was still remaining, each table was set with fine china and silver utensils and at each one sat well-dressed men and women, some of whom cast less than favorable glances her way. She started to feel self-conscious when she felt Shizuru's arm hook around hers, she leaned against Natsuki and lay her head on the taller girl's shoulders. Suddenly Natsuki didn't care about any one else in the room, only the woman she had arrived with was deserving of her attention.

The Maitre d led them to a small table in one corner of the room. Natsuki was thankful for that and she wondered if Shizuru had planned that, too. It seemed to her that she had planned to come here in the first place and it would make sense for the two of them to sit somewhere out of the way. Natsuki picked up the menu then put it back down after trying to read it and failing. Shizuru chuckled from behind her own. Natsuki cut her an annoyed look. "What are you getting, darling?"

"D-darling?"

Shizuru looked up at her from over her menu. "This is a date, right?"

"Y-yeah." Her nervousness was showing more and more, she felt out of place and not just in the fancy restaurant. She wondered what Shizuru expected of her. "I'll just get whatever you get. I trust you."

Shizuru ordered them the lasagna for two and a bottle of wine with only one glass and a cup of water. When the bottle came Shizuru waited for the waiter to leave before dumping the cup of water into the wine chiller and filling it with the bottle before handing it to Natsuki and filling her own cup. Natsuki thought that was clever but worried. "You don't mind that I drink?"

"It doesn't bother me." Shizuru sipped from her elegant wine glass while she sipped from her less elegant glass. She found it ironic. "Just take it easy."

Natsuki sipped slowly from her cup and watched Shizuru who seemed relaxed with an easy smile, one she had gotten used to seeing on her face. "You're beautiful."

Natsuki was surprised by how easily the words left her. She had seen beauty in other women before but Shizuru seemed to her to glow. She was radiant in a way that Natsuki had never seen. Shizuru smiled brightly at her, her eyes sparkled and Natsuki was unable to look away from them. "So are you, darling."

That word sparked a feeling in Natsuki, a heat rose up in her and she felt her face turning red. "I'm not..." She looked away, sheepishly, in a move that Shizuru found adorable.

"You are. Why do you think so badly of yourself?"

Natsuki sighed. "I don't know."

"Don't worry," Shizuru leaned over and took Natsuki's hand from across the table, "I like you enough for both of us." Natsuki's blush deepened so she turned her head to hide it. "You're cute."

Their food arrived and Natsuki ate slowly, relishing each individual bite as if it were her last meal. She always did, ever since she was young she had always taken her time and eaten her food meticulously. It was a habit she couldn't seem to break. Shizuru finished eating rather quickly, eating ravenously as if she hadn't eaten in days. She smiled, wanting to learn everything about the older woman.

When she finished, Shizuru ordered them desert and when the check came Shizuru kindly offered to pay since Natsuki could barely have afforded the desert. On their way out Shizuru took her arm again. She could feel the smooth skin and warmth of Shizuru from that arm and it made her happy.

Outside the restaurant Shizuru let her arm go and took her hand instead. "I guess it's time to go home."

Natsuki looked around them and spotted something interesting, a small park just down the road from the restaurant. "Not yet." She led Shizuru down the street, still hand-in-hand, down to the small park. It was little more than an empty lot with a few benches and some landscaping but it was quiet and out of the way, two things Natsuki valued highly. She sat down on a nearby bench and Shizuru sat down next to her. She looked up, the sun had gone down and the stars were visible overhead. She found the scene romantic.

"Why did you ask me out, Natsuki?"

The thought had been on her mind the entire day, just beneath the surface of everything she had been feeling. She nearly trembled as she spoke, only her self-control kept her from weeping from the outpouring of her emotions. "Because when I kissed you it made me feel alive, and when you kissed me it made me feel happy. Because when you look at me you take all the fears and doubts I have about myself away." Natsuki's eyes were on the ground, her hands gripped tightly together in front of her. "Because you make me feel good enough."

It was a sentimental moment, Natsuki found it surprisingly easy to open herself up to Shizuru. She felt a hand cup her cheek and gently turn her head to face her, then was surprised when a pair of lips were quickly pressed against her own. This kiss was different than the two that proceeded it; this one was full of passion and desire, it was full of hunger and want, it was full of love and lust. Natsuki felt it too, and when she returned that passion she could feel her thoughts dissolving as she poured her everything into the kiss.

Then it was over, just as quickly as it had started. Shizuru pulled away and sat up straight, her hands clasped in front of her and her chest heaving with her heavy breathing. Her eyes were closed, her brow furrowed as if she wrestled with something within herself. When she opened her eyes again they turned back to Natsuki, their glow not gone but stifled. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Natsuki was confused. Why did Shizuru feel sorry? Did she do something wrong, or say something to hurt the woman? And if so shouldn't she be the one who felt sorry. Shizuru stood and turned her back to Natsuki. "I'll take you home, now."

"Okay."

They walked back to the car together, Shizuru didn't try to hold her hand and Natsuki kept her own distance trying to figure out exactly what was going on with the older woman. Something had completely changed in her demeanor from earlier, her pleasant attitude and teasing nature had given way to something like sadness, and Natsuki was left wondering if she had indeed screwed things up as she had thought she would.

The ride back to her house was quiet, Shizuru's eyes were on the road and her hands didn't stray from the shifter like they had earlier. Natsuki started to feel cold as they pulled up in front of her house and she opened the door. From behind her she heard the driver's side door open as well and Shizuru got out to walk her up to the door. In front of the door they faced each other and Natsuki couldn't contain her curiosity anymore. "Did I do something to make you mad?"

Shizuru shook her head. "Nothing like that."

"Would you want to do this again?"

A soft smile came to Shizuru's face and Natsuki's heart lifted to see it. "Of course. I had a great time with you."

Before Shizuru could walk away, Natsuki pressed herself against her and kissed her, nothing like their kiss in the park but something more than their first kiss. When it was over she lingered close and whispered, "Good night." She entered the house and closed the door behind her leaving a agonized Shizuru standing on the porch.

"You're not going to make this easy on me. Are you?"


	4. Her Promise

_"You were just a fling, a way to pass the time..."_

Shizuru awoke with a start, the dream she had been having still fresh in her mind. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing until she felt calmer, until the memory dissipated from her mind. It was a memory she wasn't prepared to deal with, one she had kept buried inside for years. She thought of Natsuki instead, thought of the warm and tender feelings that the girl brought up in her and smiled, if only for a moment.

Thoughts of Natsuki brought up thoughts of the previous night, where she had felt something deeper for the girl than she had expected. She had opened her heart to Shizuru and she had wanted nothing more than to take her right then and there but this frightened her. _You were just a fling..._ She couldn't go through that again.

_What does Natsuki mean to me exactly?_ The question kept running through her head. _Why can't I stop thinking about her? _

The question stayed in her mind throughout her day. When class was over and the room was empty she sat in her chair and relished the silence. Within the silence she found an infinite space in which to process her feelings and doubts about Natsuki, about how much she wanted a relationship with her but about how doubtful she was that such a thing would last. She didn't want to scare Natsuki away.

These thoughts were still in her head on the way home and Shizuru decided that the best course of action was to drown them out. After a long shower and a change of clothes she headed to one of the local bars, the only one she knew, and ordered a drink. It wasn't long before she was joined by an old acquaintance.

"Shizuru."

The dark haired woman had snuck up on her again and now sat beside her with a triumphant smirk on her face. Her resemblance to the girl that had been in her mind was uncanny and Shizuru wondered if the two of them were related. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"I practically live here." It was a somber statement delivered in a dry tone by a woman who seemed too deep in her misery to see the light of the day. "It helps pass the time." Shizuru drank down her first drink and ordered another, all the while pushing thoughts of her past out of her head. "You're the one who seems out of place here. Anything you want to talk about?"

She wanted to talk about it, to get it off of her chest and out of her head, but she didn't know if Saeko was that person to talk to. Having only met her one other time in an all too brief conversation she didn't know whether she could confide in the person sitting next to her. After some deliberation Shizuru didn't see the harm in talking to her. "Have you ever been in love, Saeko?"

Saeko made a condescending noise in response to her question. "Once, but I wasn't old enough to know better." Shizuru looked at her quizzically, all but asking for an explanation. "I was married once, got a daughter out of it but the rest sucked, with a man I thought I loved." Saeko's face changed only slightly but she seemed almost hurt. "He cheated on me and I realized the truth."

"What is that?"

"Love is fiction, made up to sell books. Love is bullshit."

Shizuru took a long drink from her glass then set it back down on the bar. She had expected something like that from Saeko, who seemed as if she had given up a long time ago. "I think you're wrong." Shizuru had always believed in love. It was something to hold on to through all the lonely years, a hope that someday she would find someone who would mean everything to her. "Love is out there if you know what you're looking for."

"Do you? What do you look for in a man?"

A faint smile crossed Shizuru's lips. "I'm not interested in men."

"Oh." Saeko didn't seem perturbed or put off to hear that. It didn't stop her from asking the question, either. "Then what do you look for in a woman?"

Shizuru had to think about the answer. "Honesty, strength, intelligence and a pretty smile are a good start." She smiled and bit her lip as she thought about Natsuki and felt guilty.

"And how well has that worked out for you?"

Shizuru's smile faded. "I haven't dated in a long time." She closed her eyes and focused on keeping her breathing smooth and deep. "What about you?" Shizuru turned the question back at Saeko. "What do you look for in a man?"

"His wallet."

The two women shared a laugh, the first time Shizuru had heard such a sound coming from the normally dour woman. A few heads turned their way but were quickly turned back. "And how well has that worked out for you?"

Saeko tossed a stray hair over her shoulder in an exaggerated motion. "Touché." Saeko downed the rest of her drink in one gulp and set down some money next to it. "This one's on me."

"Giving up already?" Shizuru teased.

"For tonight." Saeko took a business card from her pocket and slid it across the bar to Shizuru. "Call me next time you wanna have a drink."

Shizuru turned the card over in her hand. It was embossed, high quality and she wondered just how many of them the taciturn woman carried at any given time. She smiled at the thought of making a new friend, she felt like she had crossed that threshold with Saeko during their conversation. She found it easy to talk to the other woman, it was comfortable. She read the card over and noticed something interesting. **Saeko Kuga.** _Where have I heard the name Kuga before?_

-TOUCH-

"Hey."

It had been a long day at work and Shizuru was ready to go home and shower when she was surprised to see Natsuki leaning against her car with a smile on her face. The girl was dressed in what Shizuru had learned was standard attire for her, a simple black shirt and a pair of black jeans that Shizuru thought looked amazing on her. In fact, she was hard pressed to take her eyes away from her as a familiar feeling built up within her. "I haven't seen you for a few days."

"I've been busy." Natsuki pushed herself up from the car and closed the distance between them. Shizuru's breath caught in her chest when she leaned in close and gently kissed her on the cheek. "Got any plans tonight?"

Shizuru only just heard her, her mind was consumed by fire, her eyes glued to Natsuki's pants. "I can think of a few things..." She looked up and into Natsuki's eyes and saw that she had turned her head to keep the smile on her face from showing. "I mean, no. Did you have something in mind?"

"I..." She could see Natsuki's nervousness, her hands shook ever so slightly and she could hear a waver in her voice. "I was hoping you'd invite me over."

A smirk cracked across Shizuru's mouth. It was what she wanted most, and what she was most afraid of. "Would you like to come over, tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll be ready by six."

Shizuru spent the next few hours in nervous excitement. She cleaned her house, which was already nearly spotless, took a long bath and chose a comfortable, yet revealing, short skirt and low cut blouse. She combed out her long, brown hair until it shone in the light then noticed it was time to pick up Natsuki.

When she pulled up to the house, Natsuki was waiting on the porch for her. Her eyes didn't leave her as she walked up to the car and sat down next to her. Natsuki leaned over the center console and gave Shizuru a quick kiss on the cheek, a kiss that set her ablaze. "Ready to go?"

Shizuru focused on her breathing and pushed all of the other thoughts away. Now was certainly not the time for those. "Sorry." She put the car in gear and pulled out onto the street. Shizuru rested her hand on the center console and was surprised to feel a hand take hers gently and hold it for the entirety of the ride. The car suddenly felt suffocating to her and nothing but the warmth coming from that hand kept her from drowning.

When they got to her home Natsuki followed closely behind her and stood very close to her as she opened the door. Shizuru felt the distance between them very acutely. When they entered her house Natsuki stood near the door and looked around at the apartment. Shizuru was silently happy that she had cleaned. "I like this place."

"It's small. Would you like something to drink? I can make us some tea."

"Sure, that's fine." Natsuki walked around the living room examining most of Shizuru's possessions. There was nothing out that Shizuru didn't want her to see but she couldn't help but be nervous. "It feels nice in here, really intimate."

Something about the way she said intimate set something off within Shizuru, like a distant memory just reignited. It had been a long time for her but she had to remain cautious. _You were just a fling... _

The tea pot announced to her that it was done and she steeped two cups, one for herself and one for Natsuki who had sat down on her couch. She sat down next to her and handed Natsuki a cup. They sat together quietly, Shizuru sipped at her tea and tried to keep her mind focused on it, a difficult task with the beautiful girl sitting next to her. "Thanks for inviting me over."

"Of course."

Shizuru set her cup down on the coffee table and lay back comfortably into the couch with a sigh. She heard the clink of another cup as Natsuki set hers down and felt the couch shift as Natsuki leaned over her. Their eyes met and Shizuru had never wanted anyone more than she wanted Natsuki in that moment, the way those emerald green eyes looked down at her took her breath away.

Natsuki closed the distance between them and when their lips met it a fire inside of Shizuru. Natsuki pressed her further into the couch, bringing her leg over to straddle her. Shizuru threw her arms around Natsuki's shoulders and pulled her deeper into the kiss, she opened her legs and let Natsuki press closer against her. Shizuru hadn't felt this way in a long time and the feeling threatened to overwhelm her. _Just a way to pass the time._

Shizuru was surprised when her lips parted and Natsuki's tongue found it's way in. Shizuru could tell that the girl was experienced and she felt herself giving in to the kiss as their tongues battled in her mouth. All thought fell away from her and the kiss was suddenly everything, the feeling of Natsuki in her arms was entrancing.

_I never loved you._

Shizuru moved her hands to Natsuki's shoulders and pushed her away. When their lips parted she took a deep, calming breath and brought herself back under control. Natsuki's emerald eyes looked down at her with a mixture of worry and bewilderment. Shizuru didn't know what to say, couldn't stop those unwanted memories from flooding her. She didn't know how to tell her that she was afraid.

"I'm sorry."

Natsuki shook her head slowly and closed her eyes. Her own breathing came under control and she straightened herself up on the couch. She didn't say it but Shizuru could tell that she was feeling rejected and seeing that made her feel worse. She didn't mean to reject her, wanted her more than she could know, but she couldn't get that scene out of her head. A scene from so long ago.

-TOUCH-

_Michio_

"We need to talk."

Michio sat down across from her at the table, her short hair neat and combed as always, looking beautiful in a pair of jeans and a tight fitting green top that was revealing in all the right ways. She and Shizuru had been dating for nearly a year and she was madly in love with her. Michio had been her first, had been the one to help her discover her sexuality and she loved her dearly, but Shizuru had been hearing rumors about her through the school and had started to grow suspicious of her lover.

"Then talk."

Michio was cold and collected, as she always was. Her voice betrayed nothing as it always had. Michio had always kept Shizuru at arm's length, even during sex she seemed to be far away, one of the reasons Shizuru had become suspicious of her. "Is it true?"

Shizuru didn't have to explain any further, Michio knew what she was talking about. She closed her eyes, looking more defeated than anything else. "Yes."

Shizuru's heart shattered in that moment. She had known the answer to the question but had been avoiding the it for some time now, thinking it better that things stay the way they were. _At least then we can be together._ Now everything was in the open, Michio had been sleeping around with some of the boys in their class behind her back, and Shizuru found that tears came all to easily. "Why?" Her voice was shaky, not her usual charismatic self. She was breaking down. "Why?"

"You were just a fling." Michio's voice gave no indication whether she felt remorse or regret, anger or anxiety. It was the same cold tone she used for everything. "A way to pass the time."

Shizuru's world crumbled around her. "But I love you."

Michio shrugged. "I never loved you. It was a physical thing, I'm sure you understand."

Shizuru couldn't see through the tears running down her face. She wanted to scream, wanted to run away, wanted to cry her eyes out for days but she couldn't. So she did the one thing she could. She stood from the table, cocked back her right hand and punched Michio in the face. She reeled fro the blow, falling out of her chair and falling to the ground with a grunt. The other patrons of the restaurant watched silently as Shizuru stood over the girl with her fists clenched and her teeth grit.

"You bitch." Michio got quickly to her feet and squared her shoulders for the face off but when she saw the look in Shizuru's eyes, the tear streaks down her face and the fists clenched she knew she had no chance of stopping her. She would have been hard pressed on a normal day to stop Shizuru but the murderous gleam in those burgundy eyes told her that today she might walk away with more than a couple of black eyes.

Shizuru focused on her breathing and brought her raging emotions back under control, just like her sensei had taught her. She wiped her eyes with her hand and silently walked away from the table. As she walked out of that restaurant she swore to all the gods that she would never open herself up like she had to Michio. She swore that she would never love again.

-TOUCH-

Now she sat next to a girl she was growing to love in her apartment that, at the moment, felt hot and confining to her. She had caught her breath after being pinned to the couch by Natsuki but she couldn't stop her hands from shaking. She felt something brush against her thigh, then a hand rested upon it and she felt her nervous hands calm.

"Wanna talk about it?"

That was the last thing Shizuru wanted to do, she didn't want to reveal her pain to anyone. _But she deserves to know._ "It was a long time ago."

Natsuki didn't ask more, only sat next to her in silence with her hand resting comfortably on her thigh. "I won't hurt you."

Shizuru wanted to belive that, but somewhere inside she had become jaded and cynical. Natsuki was too young, far too young to know what love meant. "You can't promise me that."

She felt Natsuki's hand brush her cheek and tenderly turn her head to face her. Their eyes met and Shizuru could see the determination in them. "I promise."

Shizuru could see the truth in her green eyes, could see that she meant what she said. The gentle touch of her hand against her cheek sent a thrill down her spine and Shizuru wanted to believe, wanted to fall in love again. Natsuki leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips and the last of Shizuru's reluctance fell away. _It was so long ago... Maybe I'm ready..._

Shizuru returned the kiss with passion, reigniting the flame from before. She put her hands on Natsuki's waist and let the younger girl set the pace, not surprised when she was on her back with Natsuki atop her once again. She relished the feel of Natsuki, her smooth skin beneath the hands that gripped her back, the soft lips that pressed against hers and the slim body that lay atop her. Natsuki seemed to return that feeling as her own hands wandered up and down Shizuru's body, occassionally finding a patch of bare skin that drove Shizuru crazy.

After more minutes than she could count, Natsuki lay her head on Shizuru's shoulder. Both of them were out of breath and the heat in the room felt suddenly oppressive but Shizuru hadn't felt that good in a long time. Natsuki shifted to lay beside her and Shizuru turned her body, Natsuki's arm laying comfortably over her in a position that Shizuru found to be natural.

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

The question seemed odd to Shizuru, mostly because she found it unnecessary. Now that they had both opened themselves to the other there was only one way to go, there was only one answer and she felt it deep in her heart. "Of course." She took Natsuki's hand and gripped it until her memories of Michio, of that turbulent time in her life, started to fade away. Instead she found herself picturing the girl with green eyes who had seduced her that night. She closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off to sleep with Natsuki wrapped comfortably around her. It was blissful.

"Crap." Shizuru looked over her shoulder to see Natsuki with her phone out. "Time really flies, huh?"

Shizuru rolled over and looked blearily to her own clock set on a bookshelf nearby. 10:55. _Was it really that long?_ "How did it get so late?"

"You fell asleep."

"You're just too comfortable, sweetheart." She gave Natsuki a quick kiss on the lips and wasn't dissapointed by Natsuki's embarrassed reaction. "Come on, I'll take you home."


	5. Breaking the Habit

Blood on the floor.

Fists clenched.

Pulse pounding in her ears. She knew this feeling. She secretly liked this feeling. He swung again but he was angry and clumsy, she was angry but still quicker. She sidestepped his awkward jab and threw one of her own. He pulled back and she stepped forward, continuing her offense, keeping him on the defensive. She swung again and again, until her body ached but the fire inside still burned.

She could hear them around her, voices speaking in hushed tones and voices shouting for him or for her, but she heard them as if through someone else's ears. She reeled from a bad hit to the face and fell back, only just keeping her balance. She shook it off, her adrenaline keeping the pain at bay. Duck, swing, swing, step, swing.

He held up his hands in surrender and she noticed that his face was a bloody mess. "You win..." He spat blood, "you win. Just stop..."

She didn't want to, her blood was burning and she wanted to keep going. She needed it, the rush. She tried to remember how it had started but she had forgotten. The how and why of it had gotten lost in the moment and when she looked down at her hands she noticed the knuckles were bloody and bruised. She had lost herself completely.

She breathed and relaxed her stance. Her arms hung loosely at her side, her mouth tasted of blood. She realized then that she hurt, likely a black eye, busted lip and a concussion. He stumbled backwards trying to run from her, tripping over his own feet before finding them and beating a hasty retreat. If she had paid more attention she would have noticed a second pair of footsteps, but these did not run. These sauntered off as if everything had gone according to plan.

"Are you alright?"

A man approached from the crowd that had gathered around her. He was clean cut and older, she would say he looked handsome. His dark hair was combed meticulously and his eyes seemed to smile at her even when he didn't. He reached a hand out towards her but she swatted it away, her breathing still heavy. "I'm fine." She cut him a look that told him to back off, which he did.

"That guy came out of nowhere."

That reminded her how it had all started. She had been walking home after school when he had come up to her, fists clenched and teeth grit. He had shouted at her, something she didn't quite pick up, then took a swing at her. After that she had lost her control and given in to her anger. "Yeah." She said as if she were a hundred miles away.

"I can take you to the hospital."

Natsuki shook her head, which caused her vision to blur and the headache from her concussion to worsen. The pain started to set into her joints and she suddenly felt as if she were a hundred years older. "I'm fine."

His eyes said 'You don't look fine' but he looked down at his watch and must have noted the time. He nodded his head slightly and walked away. The crowd that had gathered to watch them fight had already dispersed and Natsuki turned to continue on her way home, her steps growing more sure as she regained her strength.

She entered her house that stood empty but for a hand written note placed on the dining room table. Saeko had gone out of town for business and would be gone the whole weekend. Normally this would have made Natsuki happy, a chance for her to party for an entire weekend without having to face her mother's judgement, but she didn't feel like that this weekend. There was only one person she wanted to see, and as she looked in the mirror she realized that she couldn't face her. For the first time in her life she regretted her actions.

Her phone rang and she could barely hear it from the other room. She rushed to it and picked it up quickly, thumbing the answer button when it popped up. "Hey, sweetheart." It was Shizuru. "Do you have any plans tonight?"

"Not really."

"Would you want to come to dinner with me?"

She did, more than anything at that particular moment, but she remembered how she had looked in the mirror. "I'd love to, but..."

She didn't get to finish that thought. "Great, I'll come get you at seven. Bye."

The phone went dead and Natsuki let out a long sigh. She remembered her mother having makeup in her room and wondered if that would cover up her eye but she abandoned that plan when she remembered the last time she had tried to use makeup. Fortunately it had been Halloween and everyone had praised her clown costume.

She tried to call Shizuru back but never got an answer. Finally, exhausted of options, she picked out her best outfit, took a long bath with an ice pack over her eye and prepared herself for the worst.

Before long it was six and she heard the doorbell ring. Her pulse thundered in her ears as she opened the door and saw Shizuru waiting on the other side wearing a simple blouse and long skirt in a deep crimson that brought out the color of her eyes. She saw Natsuki and her soft smile faded into a look of concern. The swelling had gone down somewhat but it was still a apparent that she had been in a fight. "What happened to you?"

Her voice was tinged with concern and Natsuki was deeply touched and very embarrassed. "See, I tried to tell you..."

Shizuru walked through the doorway and pulled Natsuki into a tight embrace. Her voice was full of emotion when she spoke. "I'm so glad you're okay." Suddenly she felt like a fool for thinking Shizuru would be worried about how she looked.

She returned the embrace, lowering her head to nestle it in Shizuru's shoulder. "I'm fine." She felt like it, too. Something about being with Shizuru made her feel like everything was going to be okay. She inhaled and caught the scent of Shizuru's perfume, the freshly cleaned smell of her hair, and it lifted her spirits. "You smell nice."

Shizuru looked her in the eyes, a smile on her face. She gave Natsuki a quick kiss on the lips. "I think I have something for this. Hold on." Shizuru ran out to her car and returned with a small compact and a brush. She ushered Natsuki into her bathroom and started applying some makeup to her eye. Before long it was far less obvious she was sporting a black eye and she was grateful. "There, much better." Natsuki looked in the mirror and felt Shizuru's arms fall over her shoulders. Shizuru kissed her softly on the neck, a kiss that sent a thrill down her spine. "You look nice."

Her voice was sultry, seductive, and Natsuki wanted to give herself to it. She turned in Shizuru's arms and pulled her in for a kiss. The temperature in the bathroom was rising. Shizuru returned the kiss, kissing at her jawline when she pulled her lips away. "Aren't we going to be late?"

Shizuru sighed. "I suppose you're right." She smirked. "Maybe later, then."

Her hand brushed Natsuki's waist as she swept out of the room leaving Natsuki to regain her composure.

-TOUCH-

Shizuru drove them downtown and found a parking space only two blocks away from the restaurant they had reservations at. Natsuki got out of the car, feeling much better than she had before, her head didn't hurt as much and neither did her face. She took a couple of steps away from the car and looked up into the darkening sky. She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

Shizuru took her hand as she walked passed then spun around to face her. "Ready?"

Natsuki nodded her head and they stepped onto the sidewalk with Shizuru still holding her hand. If there was a part of her that felt nervous about walking down a public sidewalk hand in hand with Shizuru then it stayed quiet. She couldn't imagine a more perfect night as they walked those two blocks to the restaurant.

When they arrived they learned that their dinner guest had already been seated. Natsuki had no idea what to expect, Shizuru hadn't told her anything on the drive about who they were eating with, so she was quite surprised to be led to a table where a man she recognized sat. It was the man who had approached her after her fight in the street. He looked up at her and recognized her. He stood and gave Shizuru a hug before turning to her. He held out his hand for her to shake. "You look a lot better than you did a few hours ago."

Shizuru's eyes darted between them. "You two have already met?"

Natsuki shook her head. "No. He was there when I got jumped. He asked me if I was alright."

"I didn't realize that you were Shizuru's...friend." The way he said the word sounded as if he knew the truth and she wondered just how Shizuru knew him. "I'm Reito Kanzaki. Me and Shizuru were classmates," he looked at Shizuru with cutting eyes, "though only one of us left with any class."

"Says the dropout."

The three of them sat down. "I was expelled, thank you very much. And the issue was cleared up after less than a week."

Shizuru smirked across the table at Reito. "It would take longer than a week to clear up your issues."

Natsuki sat quietly and listened to the two of them trade barbs and insults for several minutes before finally picking up the menu. She found what she wanted instantly, the restaurant happened to serve one of her favorite foods. Shizuru leaned over towards her. "What are you getting, honey?"

Natsuki's smile must have been beaming. "Chicken piccata. It's my favorite."

"Really?" Natsuki felt a hand brush against her thigh. "I'll have to remember that."

Reito cleared his throat. "I can see you two are close. So, Shizzy, how did you two meet?"

Shizuru explained her side of their meeting, seeing Natsuki hurt on the side of the road, bringing her to her place, their surprising first kiss and the growing feelings between them. Reito listened carefully, for his part, and Natsuki remained silent through the whole tale. When it was finished, Reito turned to her. "I noticed you don't say much."

"Not really."

Her sultry voice and blunt way of speaking must have made an impression on him because he smiled at Shizuru. "You do have a type, don't you?" Shizuru put her arm around Natsuki and pulled her close. "It's good to see you happy."

The conversation turned to Reito asking about Shizuru's work and Natsuki zoned out. She found herself looking around the room. She had never been in this particular restaurant and she found herself enjoying the ambience. Soft piano music played and the lights were dimmed enough that it brought an almost romantic air to everything. She felt a hand rest on her thigh and it brought a smile to her face. She rested her own hand on top of Shizuru's.

Then suddenly it was gone. Shizuru stood from the table with an "I'll be right back" and left to find a restroom leaving only Natsuki and Reito at the table. Reito broke the silence first. "So, how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"Eighteen?" He raised an eyebrow at her response. "Interesting."

"Why? Because Shizuru's twenty-nine."

"Well...yeah." Reito seemed put off by Natsuki's bluntness. "You have to realize that's a little strange." Natsuki merely shrugged. "Then I'll ask you another way. How do you feel about Shizuru? Are you serious about her? I'd hate to think that you're using her."

Natsuki leaned forward and looked Reito directly in the eyes. "When I looked in the mirror today I was upset, not because I had been in a fight but because I didn't want her to see me like that. I don't ever want her to see me like that. I don't ever want to fight again. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes."

After putting her thoughts into words, Natsuki finally understood what she had been feeling. She leaned back against the chair to think about it and let the silence between her and Reito linger until Shizuru returned. She sat down and noticed Natsuki's far away look. She reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "You okay?"

This pulled Natsuki from her thoughts and back to the present. "Yeah."

Shizuru's smile made her heart beat faster. "Good."

They ordered and the food arrived promptly. Reito and Shizuru fell into conversation about her work and Natsuki focused on eating. Her thoughts turned inwards to that moment when she had looked at herself in the mirror and her first thoughts weren't for herself. _If it means giving up everything to be with her, I'm fine with that._

After the meal, Shizuru and Reito reminisced about their high school days together. When Natsuki heard an interesting fact about Shizuru she had to remark. "You were the student council president?"

"I was." Shizuru returned with a smile. "Reito was my vice-president."

"Even though I did most of the actual work, as I recall. You were merely a figurehead."

"Figurehead!?" Shizuru turned back to Reito. "Says the lackey. You rode my coat tails the entire term."

Shizuru and Reito returned their casual arguing until the check came. Reito took care of it, much to Shizuru's chagrin, then stood to leave. Shizuru hugged him goodbye and she could see that Shizuru thought highly of him. To spite their calculated verbal jabs the two of them were close friends. Afterwards Reito shook Natsuki's hand and pulled her close. He whispered in her ear, "Be good to her", then let her go. She looked back at him as he strode through the front doors. _I will._

"Ready to go?"

Natsuki nodded and followed Shizuru out to the street. Shizuru took her arm and leaned against her as they walked, something Natsuki was growing more and more comfortable with. "Thanks for coming."

Natsuki pulled Shizuru closer to her. "I really wanted to see you tonight." She couldn't see it but she knew that Shizuru was beaming. "I'm glad we got to spend it together."

They had turned a corner and were walking towards the parking lot when Shizuru stopped them, turned her around and pressed against her with a kiss. Natsuki put her arms around Shizuru and held her close as they kissed. When it was over she continued to embrace her. "So, are you coming over to my place?"

Natsuki thought of her house, empty and cold. She didn't want to go back just yet. "I'd like to."

"I'd love to have you ... over."

Natsuki felt a blush crawling up her cheeks and Shizuru smiled warmly. She kissed her lightly on the lips then glided passed her towards her car. Natsuki regained her composure then followed her.

-TOUCH-

Natsuki sat crossways on the couch with Shizuru between her legs. She had just showered and Natsuki was running a brush through her long, chestnut hair. She loved the smell, occassionally taking a handful of her hair and bringing it up to her nose. Shizuru's hands strayed up and down her thighs and she felt warm.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

Shizuru leaned back against her. "Of course. I have a queen sized bed we can share."

Natsuki felt the blush returning to her face. She hadn't thought about it like that but now she couldn't get it out of her head. Sleeping together with Shizuru. "W-well that's ... that's..."

"It's okay, honey." Shizuru patted her thigh affectionately. "You can sleep on the couch." Shizuru slowly got up. "I'll go find you some blankets."

She turned to walk away but stopped when she heard Natsuki's voice, so low that she almost didn't hear it. "I'll do it."

"Hm?"

"I'll sleep in your bed. I want to sleep with you."

Now it was Shizuru's turn to blush. Her nervousness showed through her normal stoicness and Natsuki noticed, feeling anxious herself. Shizuru took Natsuki's hand and led her into the bedroom. Shizuru's bed looked comfortable and Natsuki found that she was tired. Shizuru dug through an old dresser and pulled a garment out to wear. She looked over her shoulder at Natsuki, who had sat down on her bed. "I'll be back."

She left and Natsuki undressed down to her underwear, crawling beneath the blankets and loving the feel of them. Shizuru returned quickly wearing a comfortable looking satin slip and little else. Natsuki couldn't keep her eyes off of her as she approached the bed and from the smirk on her face she knew it. She pulled back the blankets and crawled into bed right next to her.

Natsuki lay straight as a board, almost afraid to touch Shizuru but she didn't feel the same trepidation. Shizuru rolled over to lay next to her and threw an arm over Natsuki, resting her head on her shoulder and closing her eyes. Natsuki slowly wrapped her arm around Shizuru and held her by the shoulder, her body growing hotter by the minute. Natsuki felt her smooth skin, warm beneath her fingers and felt her breath hot on her neck. She felt her nervousness give way to another feeling entirely.

Shizuru kissed her softly on the nape of her neck, trailing kisses up her jaw before finally kissing her lips. Her hand gently cupped her cheek then let up when Natsuki winced. She had brushed against her eye which was still tender. "Does it still hurt?"

"No." She brushed an errant strand of hair away from Shizuru's face so she could see it better.

"I was worried about you." Natsuki wrapped her arms tighter around Shizuru, pulling her head into her chest. Shizuru gently kissed the bare skin just above her bra and she sighed. "I'm glad you're okay."

Shizuru returned to a more comfortable sleeping position and Natsuki yawned long and hard. She was far more tired than she had originally thought and when she closed her eyes it was getting harder and harder to open them again. She felt relaxed in Shizuru's embrace. She felt loved.

She couldn't remember ever being as happy as she was in that moment.


	6. A Night of Passion

Shizuru felt Natsuki's warmth before her eyes opened. She felt her in her arms and a smile slowly creased her face. When her eyes opened she was laying next to Natsuki with her arm around her waist and the smell of her hair in her nose. Shizuru tightened her hold around her girlfriend's waist and buried her head in the crook of her neck. The sounds of morning drifted through the windows, a soft light filtered through her curtains and Shizuru didn't ever want to get up, didn't ever want this moment to end.

Shizuru, with great effort, pulled herself away from Natsuki and slowly slid out of her bed. She trundled into the kitchen on auto pilot and set a pot of coffee to brew while she found a skillet and set it on the stovetop. She searched in her refrigerator and found a carton of eggs, package of ham and a raw onion. She didn't consider herself an amazing cook but she could make omelettes and she found herself wanting to cook something for her girlfriend. She hadn't felt that way in a long time and she felt fit to burst.

Her coffee pot announced that it had finished it's work and she poured herself a cup while eggs cooked in the skillet. She took a long pull from the cup and felt the fatigue leave her body. She returned her attention to the stove where she worked until she felt arms wrap around her waist from behind and a body press against her and a thick, sultry voice say in her ear, "Good morning."

She leaned back into the warmth while her hands continued their work. She closed her eyes and a sigh left her lips. It never crossed her mind that the person who made her happy was much younger than her. She felt Natsuki's head rest against her shoulder, her breath hot on the nape of her neck. She turned her head and met a pair of lips that were waiting for her, a light kiss. "Good morning, honey."

She felt Natsuki's arms tighten around her waist and secretly wanted her never to let go, even if she was busy at the moment. Natsuki reluctantly pulled away and sat down at the small dining table in her apartment. "I didn't know you could cook."

Shizuru slid her completed omelette onto a plate and walked it over to the table, sliding it in front of Natsuki with a kiss on the cheek. She whispered seductively in her ear, "Only for you, sweetheart."

Shizuru sat down across from her and could see the blush on her face. It was adorable. She had grown to love teasing the girl, seeing her reactions lifted her spirits. Shizuru took a sip from her coffee cup. "Didn't you make anything for yourself?"

"I'm not hungry."

Shizuru was satisfied with the cup in front of her. It had always been like that for her, if she had eaten so early in the morning she would feel sluggish throughout the rest of the day. She would only ever eat a light lunch as well but a heavy dinner to make up for it. She watched Natsuki eat, surprised by how much she savored each bite, as if each might be her last.

"Do you have to go home today?"

The words sounded more pleading than Shizuru intended, her inner desire betrayed in her voice. She wanted more time with her, more time to talk with her, to learn more about her, to explore her. But she knew that she couldn't ask for more so she waited, patiently, for Natsuki to come to her.

"No." Shizuru couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face. "Why? Trying to get rid of me?"

"I have to make room for my other girlfriends." She smirked and Natsuki looked annoyed, but if she actually had any problem with her teasing she never said a word. She enjoyed the subtle plays of emotion on Natsuki's face, each little one seemed precious to her. She liked to think that she was the only one who ever saw those faces of hers, like they were just for her. "You're adorable."

"Shut up."

Shizuru chuckled, full of mirth. "Why don't we spend the day together. We could go out, see a movie, maybe do some shopping..."

Natsuki didn't lift her attention from her plate. "Whatever, as long as we're together." Natsuki said it with such ease and with so little inflection that Shizuru could have sworn she was reading it from a textbook, like it was merely a fact. "I just want to spend time with you." If Shizuru hadn't been sitting down already she would have swooned.

"Do you need to get some clothes to wear? I can take you by your house if you need to."

"That'd be great." Natsuki stood up and kissed Shizuru on the cheek as she walked passed. "Can I use your shower?"

Shizuru unknowingly tensed at the thought. "Of course." _It has room for two. _She heard the shower start and she had to fight the onrush of thoughts in her head, her desire rose up within her and she had to force it back down. She knew that Natsuki was new to relationships with women and she didn't want to scare her by being too aggressive. The thought aka crossed her mind that Natsuki might not enjoy being with a woman after all and leave her. She had grown attached to the girl and didn't want to lose her or scare her away so she had bottled up her growing lust and was keeping it away from her.

Yet no matter how hard she tried the feelings kept returning. She would see Natsuki and a heat would rise up in her, threatening to consume her. Only with great force was she able to force it back down. The last two days had been especially difficult, sleeping with her in the same bed had been especially grueling. She didn't know if she could do it again.

While she was lost in thought, Natsuki left the bathroom and put on the clothes she had been wearing. When she entered the kitchen she noticed that Shizuru was lost in thought and sat down across from her. Shizuru's eyes slowly passed over her as she recognized that Natsuki was sitting across from her, looking at her. "Shower's free."

"Oh," Shizuru shook her head to clear her mind, her auburn hair waving in her face and reminding her that it needed to be brushed, "right. Thanks." Shizuru took a quick shower and changed into a long blue skirt and blouse that she thought Natsuki would like. She found her car keys and found Natsuki sitting on her couch running a brush through her long, dark hair. She thought she looked beautiful and sat down next to her.

Natsuki looked over to her but said nothing, merely continued to pull the brush in long, straight strokes through her hair. The only sound in the room came from her brushing but it felt a comfortable silence to Shizuru. They didn't need words, sometimes saying nothing was just as good.

When she finished with her hair, Natsuki sat back on the seat and motioned to Shizuru to sit with her. She was happy to do so, she settled between Natsuki's legs and leaned forward so that Natsuki could run the brush through her hair. She felt the pull of the brush and let out a sigh, her fingers traced patterns down Natsuki's legs. Natsuki was the first to break the silence. "I love your hair."

"So that's why you're with me."

"Shut up."

Natsuki slapped her gently on the shoulder then continued to brush out her hair until it was silky and lustrous. She heard the brush hit the table and felt Natsuki's arms wrap around her waist. She felt a gentle kiss on her neck and she let out a sigh. Natsuki held her tight, resting her head on Shizuru's shoulders. "On second thought, why don't we just stay here."

Shizuru leaned back against her girlfriend and smiled. "We could always just stay in bed." Her clenched and her breathing became labored as a heat started to rise in her. She could feel Natsuki's warm breath on the nape of her neck and something about the way her hands held her was heating her up.

"Yeah..." Natsuki's voice was low and sultry in her ear and Shizuru didn't know how much more she could take. She wanted her, needed her, and it was getting harder to resist her feelings. She leaned her head back and found a pair of lips waiting for her. The kiss left her breathless and wanting more. "But going out sounds nice, too."

It did, even if Shizuru had wanted something else then. She stood from the couch and composed herself, catching her breath and almost nervously straightening her skirt. "It does." She held out a hand to Natsuki. "Let's go."

Natsuki took her hand and let Shizuru pull her up. From the look on her face she could tell that something was going on in the younger woman's head and she found herself wanting to know what that was, though she didn't want to push the issue. What she did was smile politely and give her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek on the way towards the door.

-TOUCH-

Shizuru waited in her car outside of Natsuki's house for her to change and come back. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel until she spotted her dark haired girlfriend walking down the sidewalk towards her. She had changed into a pair of tight fitting black jeans and a black tank top with her long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Shizuru watched her the entire way up the sidewalk and into her car.

"Ready to go?"

It was a thirty minute car ride to the city and it had been a while since Shizuru had been. She knew the way, though, and before long she had found a moderately cheap parking garage and the two of them were walking down the sidewalk. Shizuru reached out to take Natsuki's hand and was met with hesitation before she relented and held her hand back. Shizuru understood her hesitation, Shizuru had been out for a long time and was more comfortable with it than Natsuki was.

They walked the downtown streets together and took in the sights. Shizuru had seen them many times before but seeing them with Natsuki seemed to reinvigorate her. It was like seeing the city for the first time. Natsuki took her into places she would never have visited on her own, things that she would only enjoy if she was with her. Before long her feet hurt and she sat down with Natsuki at an outdoor cafe for a break and some coffee. She was admiring Natsuki's profile while she looked off into the distance.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Because you're my girlfriend?"

"Because I care about you." Shizuru's answer was matter of fact, she did care for Natsuki. She cared for her a lot, and the fact that she was attracted to her didn't change that. "I would care about you even if we weren't together."

She could swear she saw a twinkle in her eye then. A tear? "That means a lot to me." Natsuki smiled, a pretty smile that Shizuru swore she would do anything to see again. Her eyes glanced over and caught Shizuru's. "You mean a lot to me."

Something in Shizuru's heart swelled to hear it and she returned the smile she had been given. "You do to."

Something about Natsuki's mannerisms felt to Shizuru like she had decided something, but what she didn't know. Natsuki finished the rest of her cup and sat up from the table. "So, where to now?"

After leaving the cafe, the two of them searched for a movie theater and sat down to watch a movie, a movie that Shizuru had been anxious to see and that Natsuki didn't find too boring. It was a love story, and Shizuru teared up at several points during the movie. She had always enjoyed love stories, even when she was a little girl. Whether in movies or in books she had always found something warm and comfortable about a good love story.

After the movie, the sun was going down and the two of them decided it would be best to get home. On the way back to the car Shizuru rested her head on Natsuki's shoulder and let out a yawn. Natsuki noticed, and put her arm around her waist. "I can drive, if you're tired."

Shizuru shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

The drive back home was long and Shizuru was more tired than she was willing to admit. By the time they made it back to town it was well after dark and was happy to be closer to home. She asked Natsuki if she had planned on staying over again but Natsuki had replied that she couldn't so Shizuru once again parked in front of the Kuga house.

Shizuru leaned over the central console and gave Natsuki a kiss on the cheek. "I had a fun time with you."

Natsuki looked back at her and something in her eyes smoldered, a determined look was on her face. She was nervous, Shizuru could see it clear as day. "Do you want to come inside?"

Shizuru was going to take the opportunity to tease her but something about the moment held her back, something about the way she asked the question. "Sure."

She followed Natsuki into the house, where she had never been. She looked around and noticed it was quaintly furnished. "It's this way."

Natsuki took her by the hand and led her down a hallway and to a bedroom she assumed was Natsuki's. It was sparsely furnished with very little that wasn't of functional use. Shizuru took a mental note to give her some things to decorate her room with. Natsuki closed the door behind her. Shizuru turned around to face her and Natsuki closed the distance between them and pressed herself against Shizuru, kissing her fiercely. This energized Shizuru, who felt like Natsuki was breathing life into her.

Natsuki was breathing heavy when they parted for air. She looked up at Shizuru with an almost sheepish look. "I've never been with a woman before."

Shizuru smirked. "You're doing pretty good, so far."

Natsuki pressed her back until she felt something at her knees and sat down on the bed. Natsuki straddled her and gently shoved her to a laying position before falling on top of her. Their lips met and Shizuru let herself go. It had been a long time for her but, like an old dance, she still remembered the steps. She pulled off her blouse and unclasped her bra, not surprised when Natsuki hesitated. She remembered her first time, she had been somewhat awkward too.

Shizuru guided her and before long the younger girl had Shizuru at her mercy. Her back arched as she let out a cry before collapsing back into Natsuki's bed. Shizuru hungrily returned the favor, showing the younger woman a few tricks of her own and before long it was Natsuki who was crying out for release, a release she was all too happy to give.

They played together for nearly an hour and afterwards Shizuru was proud to say that Natsuki needed no more guidance. Natsuki lay back on her bed with Shizuru laying on her side, arm across her chest. They lay together quietly, both of them trying to catch their breath after their exertions. Shizuru, who felt more satisfied than she had in years, felt nearly giddy and euphoric before her body reminded her that it had been tired before and was even more so now. Her eyes closed and she tried to stay awake, tried to remind herself that she needed to get home, to her own bed but when sleep finally came for her she couldn't resist. Laying next to her was just too comfortable.

-TOUCH-

When she woke up the next morning the sun was barely rising and a few rays slanted through the curtains in the, at first, unfamiliar room. As she slowly remembered the happenings of the previous night a smile slowly spread across her face. She was lying next to her girlfriend, with whom she had shared a night of passion like she had never before experienced, and she felt that everything was right with the world.

With a kiss on her sleeping girfriend's cheek, she extracted herself from her and stood up from the bed, finding her clothes that had been haphazardly tossed around the room during their lovemaking and putting them on. She searched for the bathroom first, and afterwards made her way to the kitchen where she found a coffee maker that nearly shouted her name. She made a mental note to replace the filter and coffee grinds she had used later.

After it was finished, Shizuru enjoyed a hot cup of coffee and let her eyes wander the living area of the Kuga house. It was quaint, if not unfurnished, as if neither of the occupants had intended to stay for a long period of time. She found herself suddenly curious about Natsuki's family and spotted a few photo frames across from her on an old shelf. She ambled over and before long found one of Natsuki and her mother, but what she saw made her eyes widen.

She knew Natsuki's mother. It was Saeko.


	7. New Friends, New Enemies

Natsuki woke up in the morning to an empty bed and a warm feeling inside. She couldn't explain why but everything seemed to shine just a little bit more; the sunlight streaming through the curtains seemed to brighten up the room just that much more, the fresh feel of her bedsheets was soft and comforting against her bare skin, the quiet sounds of morning were just a bit more soothing to her.

She felt the bed shift and arms suddenly entwined around her. She put her arm around Shizuru and held her close, never wanting to let go. "Good morning, sweetheart."

She felt Shizuru's lips against her cheek. She had made the decision the previous night to take their relationship to the next level and she was glad that she had. She had never felt as close to anyone in her life as she did to Shizuru. She was her best friend, her lover, her soul mate. "Good morning, babe."

Shizuru smiled. "I love when you call me that." Natsuki took in a deep breath and felt absolutely relaxed. "Is that a guitar?"

Sure enough, Natsuki had an old Gibson guitar leaning against the wall of her room. The guitar was worn, as if it had been played hard for many years. "Yeah, mom gave it to me a few years ago. It was granddad's. He used to play it for me when I was really young."

"Can you play?"

Natsuki nodded her head and sat up, suddenly aware of her nakedness but didn't feel uncomfortable around Shizuru. She had seen everything of her, after all. Natsuki retrieved the guitar and set it in her lap, letting the strap hang down beside her legs, remembered the starting chords and began to play. The melody was soft and slow, a song she had learned when she was first starting out playing. As the rhythm came back she began to sing in a husky, rolling bass that filled the room with sound. Her song sounded of loneliness, of feeling a stranger in your own skin and she found herself getting lost in the familiar feeling of playing and singing. She remembered why she had loved it so much, then remembered why she had stopped. She had quit when she started drinking and now regretted it terribly.

She played the last chord and let it fall, her voice vibrating through the still morning air until there was no more sound left in the room. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath before she looked over to see Shizuru staring at her as if spellbound, one hand at her chest and her eyes smoldered with unbound desire. Without saying a word she sat up and took Natsuki's head in her hands, looking directly into her eyes with a look that she knew was reserved for her. She managed to set the guitar down on the floor beside her bed before Shizuru claimed her lips as her own. Shizuru's voice was breathless with desire, "Take me."

Natsuki was happy to oblige.

-TOUCH-

The next day Natsuki walked into the school building with a noticeable glow about her, though she didn't recognize it herself. She and Shizuru had made love for a while before she remembered that her mother was due home and rushed her out the door with a goodbye kiss and a promise to call her later. She held her head up high as she stepped through the doors into empty halls and realized that she was nearly fifteen minutes late. Even this couldn't perturb her as she sauntered her way through the halls. She didn't even see the red haired missile pointed at her.

"Hey."

From around a corner she came running at her, out of breath and obviously lost. She was shorter than Natsuki with short red hair that reminded her of Nao's but brighter. Then, naturally, she noticed that the girl was busty, distractingly so. "Hey, can you help me find class 3-1?"

That happened to be Natsuki's class. Ordinarily she would have either not said a word to this random girl or have told her off right then and there but she found that the urge to do so wasn't there. She didn't feel like being a jerk. "I'm headed there. Follow me."

"Thanks." The girl had a smile on her face as she fell into step beside Natsuki. "I just transferred here and couldn't find my way around. Lost on my first day..." She shook her head, "that's a great start." She looked up at Natsuki. "But thanks to you everything's gonna be alright. I'm Mai, by the way. What's your name?"

"Natsuki."

"That's a pretty name. You're really pretty." The comment caught her off guard, she had never been told she was pretty. Not by anyone. She must have taken too long to respond because Mai seemed to get nervous. "I guess that's kind of weird, right? I shouldn't have said..."

"Thanks."

Natsuki's response was simple and brought a smile back to Mai's face. "You're welcome."

After getting chided for being late she sat down and managed to pay some attention in class, more than she ever had before. She wondered where this strange change of behavior was coming from and kept coming back to one name, Shizuru. She was changing because of her, she wanted to be better for her.

Throughout the entire class she kept watching Mai, watching her talking under her breath to a few of the girls sitting around her. She could hear them giggling and see them smiling. She would find that Mai had a talent for making friends. Before the bell rang to class to let out she had already been asked to sit with some of the other girls at lunch. Natsuk quietly packed her things away and tried to leave but was stopped by Mai.

"Hey, why don't you eat lunch with us Natsuki?"

Without stopping or turning she responded, "No thank you", and kept walking. Mai didn't know her reputation but everyone else certainly did, and the whispers and muffled talking she heard from behind her only served to cement herself away from everyone else. She wasn't angry, she had done it to herself after all, she was merely disappointed.

Her morning classes passed by quickly and before long she was sitting alone in the courtyard for lunch. She was surprised when someone approached and sat down beside her. It was Mai. "Hey. So this is where you were."

Natsuki didn't look in her direction, her eyes were cast downward. "You're not eating with the others?"

Mai smiled. "They weren't very nice. You should have heard some of the things they were saying about you. But I told them, there's no way someone like that would have helped me out this morning. I said she has to be better than that."

"They're not wrong." Natsuki's eyes were still on the ground. "But I want to change."

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "I think you're a good person, Natsuki."

She had also never been told that before either. It was as if she had been living in darkness and was now seeing the light for the first time, it was blinding but warm and she couldn't see the way forward. It felt like that first breath after coming up for air.

Mai ate with her and asked her questions about the school and as they talked she found herself growing more comfortable in the girl's presence. She would almost go so far as to say she liked Mai, that she wouldn't mind being friends with her.

As it turned out Mai had two classes with her in the afternoon, including the last class so when Natsuki was walking out Mai walked with her. Natsuki started to walk away when Mai stopped her. "Do you walk home? Do you want a ride?"

Natsuki merely shook her head. "I'm okay. Thanks, though."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Natsuki had an ulterior motive for walking home. The primary school was between her and her home and she was hoping to see Shizuru. As she approached the building she spotted her red Chrysler sitting in front and as she walked by she spotted Shizuru standing with a group of children waiting to board a bus. Shizuru spotted her and waved with a beaming smile and Natsuki waved back. She was happy to have seen her.

When she got home she showered and changed clothes then sat down and picked up the guitar, still lying where she had left it before Shizuru had all but pulled her back to the bed. She strummed it and felt where her callouses had been, felt the sting as they were gradually rebuilt. She started practicing, singing where she could, and cleared her mind of everything. She had always felt zen while playing and couldn't remember why she had ever stopped.

"You always had a beautiful voice."

She stopped when she heard her mother, then realized that she had been playing for hours. Saeko was looking at her from the door, leaning against her doorjam in her casual clothes. "You stopped singing a long time ago, though."

Natsuki's eyes fell to the floor. "I know."

"You were with someone this weekend, weren't you." Natsuki's reaction was subdued but Saeko was looking for it. It brought a smile to her face. "I can see it, you know. You're practically glowing."

"I'm not."

Natsuki's denial was too little too late, Saeko had already seen through her. Natsuki was tempted to tell her everything, about Shizuru and about their time together, but she stayed silent. She didn't know whether Shizuru would be upset with her if she did or if her mother would throw her out.

"I see. Well, that's your business. You just seem a little happier, that's all."

Saeko left, leaving Natsuki alone in her room. She searched for her phone and found it on the small table sitting next to her bed. She picked it up and dialed a number she now knew by heart. Shizuru answered almost as soon as it rang. "Hey, babe."

"I love it when you call me that."

Shizuru's voice brought a smile to her face as it always did. She realized that she had wanted to hear it all day, and wanted to hear it all night. "Come over and I'll whisper it in your ear." She could almost hear the breath that Shizuru let out, then, could almost feel her shiver. "What are you doing?"

"Drinking tea. Thinking of you."

Natsuki fell back into her bed, trying to squelch the smile that wouldn't leave her face. "I was thinking about you, too."

"What about me?"

"My bed is lonely without you."

"Mine too." There was silence over the line. It made Natsuki feel like they were in the same room together, though they were seperated by miles. "I made a new friend today. Her name's Mai. She told me I was a good person."

Silence. "That's because you are."

"She told me I was pretty, too."

"I thought you were pretty before it was popular."

Natsuki laughed aloud, touched by her words. She could hear Shizuru chuckle from across the line and she was suddenly hit by the distance between them. "When can I see you again?"

The line grew quiet. "Soon, I hope. I'm going to be busy with school this week but maybe we can have lunch one day."

"I'd like that."

-TOUCH-

Mai had become the talk of the school, and she had unknowingly drug Natsuki along with her. Within the span of a week everyone around the campus had heard her name and she had made friends across the school. Of course, she insisted that Natsuki was now friends with them too, something she didn't particularly care for but didn't mind so much since she was trying to maintain a more positive outlook on life.

Mai sat with three of them now, that Natsuki had less than affectionately dubbed the Triad; Chie Harada was their grade and a short haired woman who was openly into girls and even had a girlfriend on campus, Akane Higurashi was a sweet tempered, somewhat shy underclassman who was nearly top of her class in every subject and often helped Mai study for her exams that were a grade ahead of her and

They sat in the cafeteria chatting away while Natsuki did what she normally did, sat silently and looked out the window. When the conversation came back to her she looked at them with surprise, forgetting that they were even there. "So what about you, Natsuki?" Mai was nudging her with an elbow to get her attention. It worked. "Are you going out with anyone?"

Her first instinct was to say nothing and get up to leave but she didn't, wanting to change how others looked at her. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself. Could she just tell them about Shizuru? Would they be judge mental of her relationship? Could it harm Shizuru in any way? Instead she merely shook her head. "No."

"Really? But you're so pretty I thought all the guys would be after you."

Chie raised an eyebrow from across the table. "Maybe that's not the problem. Maybe she's not into them."

Mai looked at Natsuki as if she had been shocked. "Really!?"

"I, I'm not talking about this."

Chie shrugged. "It's cool, nobody cares if you are."

Mai saw the determination in Natsuki's eyes and relented. "Okay, let's leave her alone." They returned to their conversation and Natsuki returned to her window watching.

After lunch she had said goodbye to Mai and was on her way to her next class when she spotted Nao leaning against a wall of lockers staring at her with a grin. "Hey, Kuga. It's been a while."

Natsuki bristled and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. "Nao."

She approached with an almost predatory look on her face. Natsuki looked around her and noticed that the hallway was empty, most of the others had filed passed on the way to their own classes. "I'm mad at you. You haven't been hanging out any more."

Natsuki stood her ground as the shorter redhead approached. "I don't do that any more."

"That's right," Nao stopped just out of Natsuki's arm reach, "you hang out with the groupies now." She shook her head as if she was disappointed. "They must vote you to death." Natsuki wanted to fire back but she was right, they did bore her. "See, I can read you like a book."

"I'm not the same person I used to be."

Nao's smirk became even more feral. "Because of **her**." The way she spat the word, and the grimace that came after, gave Natsuki pause. "You think I don't know about her? Shizuru Fujino, twenty nine years old, primary school teacher, red Chrysler, you're not very subtle."

Natsuki growled low in her throat, the mention of Shizuru by that spider made her angry. "You leave her out of this."

"I want nothing more than that." Nao held her hands out to the sides as if innocent. "I don't want her, just you." Natsuki's fists clenched, she wanted to beat the look off this girl's face, the triumphant smirk that spread across her face. "There's a party this Friday and you're coming with me."

Natsuki wanted to knock her out, wanted to beat her into a bloody mess but she relented. This was exactly what she was trying to change about herself, these were the poisonous influenced she needed to remove from her life in order to do that. "Not interested."

She brushed passed Nao and walked away. She had taken three steps when her phone buzzed that she had a message. She took it out and noticed it was picture of her and Shizuru kissing on the porch of her house. She spun around when she noticed who sent it. "Oops." Nao stood in place, her predatory gaze still locked on Natsuki. "It would be a shame if this ended up plastered all over the walls..."

"I don't care."

"Of the primary school." Natsuki was stunned. She wanted to believe that Nao was better than that, that she wouldn't stoop to that level, but she knew deep down that she was capable of anything to get what she wanted. Right now what she wanted was her. "You think she won't get in trouble, a teacher with a student. You think she'll be alright after that, knowing that all you had to do to prevent it was to go to one party with me."

Natsuki growled, but her anger was useless. She would never do anything to harm Shizuru, to put her career at risk. She stood in place, shoulders tensed and face lowered. Nao sauntered by and put a hand on her shoulder. "Think about it, Kuga."

She did think about it. It was all she could think about for the rest of the day. She wandered home in a daze, hoping against hope to see Shizuru outside of the school but her car was gone. She must have left early. Natsuki wanted to see her, needed to talk to her, so she took out her phone and dialed her number as she walked.

"Shizuru?"

Her voice must have sounded frantic. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

She sighed. "I have to ask you something important." She paused. "Is our relationship a secret?"

Shizuru didn't answer.


	8. The Price

Shizuru didn't know how to answer.

She wanted to tell Natsuki no, that she didn't care who knew about their relationship. She wanted to shout from the rooftops and write in the sky how much she loved Natsuki but it wasn't true. There was someone she was afraid of, a dark cloud hanging over their relationship. She didn't care who knew about them as long as it wasn't Saeko Kuga.

"Well..."

Shizuru faltered and for every second that silence reigned over the phone she could almost feel Natsuki's heart breaking. It hurt but she couldn't answer her. Shizuru heard the sound of a car passing and reasoned that she was walking down the street.

"Can I see you tonight?"

That was a question Shizuru could easily answer. "Of course. I'll make dinner."

Shizuru set to making dinner for her and Natsuki and before long she had a candlelight dinner laid out on her dining room table. She had changed into an elegant black, backless dress, one that she knew Natsuki would like, and was putting the finishing touches on dessert when there was a knock on her front door. She made sure the table was ready, turned out the lights as she crossed the room and leaned sensually against the doorjam as she opened. "Hey."

Natsuki's eyes took every inch of her in and she noticed that a smile slowly spread across her face, replacing the meloncholy look that had been there a second ago. "What's the occassion?"

Shizuru took her in her arms and kissed her. "Because I missed you."

She let Natsuki walk passed her and into the apartment. Natsuki stopped when she saw the dinner table lit up romantically. The look of surprise on her face made Shizuru's smile spread wider. "Did you do all this for me?"

Shizuru wrapped herself around Natsuki and hugged her from behind, leaving a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck. "All for you, baby."

They sat down to eat. Natsuki ate slowly, her eyes never leaving Shizuru. Shizuru loved the attention but she couldn't help but detect a hint of sadness behind them, like Natsuki was upset or worried. "Is something wrong, Natsuki?"

She could see the tug of war in her eyes, the play of emotions that meant Natsuki wanted to tell her something but couldn't. Her expression quickly fell away but Shizuru had noticed. She found that she noticed many things about the girl that she hadn't noticed before, as if they were becoming more attuned to each other. Her body could pick up on things she didn't immediately see, and what she was feeling from Natsuki then was determination.

"Thanks for dinner."

Natsuki deftly redirected the conversation, Shizuru let it pass. She knew that no matter how hard she tried she would never be able to pry any answers out of the stubborn girl so instead she chose to wait. She decided to fall back to another tactic, teasing. "Wait until after dinner, then you can thank me." She did.

-TOUCH-

Shizuru was in high spirits as she leaned against a tree and watched the children in her class running and playing in the yard. She breathed in the cooling autumn air and let it out in a long exhale. After being with Natsuki just the act of breathing made her feel great.

"Hey." She noticed Midori approaching from the school building. A grin spread across her face as she took in the scene before her. "How's it going?"

"Fine."

"I don't buy that." Midori pretended to sock Shizuru in the arm. "You're practically glowing. You met someone, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

As always Shizuru was vague, Midori was used to it and didn't pry further. "Well, it's good to see you happy." Midori looked down at her watch when her eyes suddenly flew up. "That's her."

Shizuru looked up and noticed that someone was running down the sidewalk, her dark hair cut short and wearing a simple pair of jogging pants and a tank top. Midori's eyes were listless and never left the woman as she passed. She sighed. "Why don't you just talk to her?"

"What exactly am I supposed to say to her? 'Hi, how's it going? I always watch you when you jog by.'?"

"Maybe leave that part out, but why not tell her that you think she's attractive and ask her out?"

Midori threw up her hands in frustration. "Right, so long as she's into other women and isn't already married to some loser. That's too many ifs."

"If there's one thing I've learned, Midori, it's that you've got to take the chance."

Midori cut her a look. "Maybe." Her attention returned to Shizuru. "So, tell me about her. What's she like?"

"She's beautiful, energetic and passionate. She's deep, plays guitar and sings like an angel. She's just, amazing."

Midori's smile spread across her face and threatened to reach her ears. "Lucky. She sounds great."

"Yeah." Talking about Natsuki reminded her of how she had acted at dinner the previous night. Like she was hiding something. "She's great."

"I'm happy for you, Shizuru. Maybe it'll be my turn next."

"Definitely."

The bell rang and Shizuru gathered her students to return to the classroom.

-TOUCH-

It was a week after her dinner with Natsuki and Shizuru hadn't seen or spoken to her in that time. Every time she had tried to call she was met by her voicemail and every message she had sent had not received a reply. She was starting to worry. She was at home, trying her best not to think about it when her phone rang and she answered it, hoping it was Natsuki.

"Shizuru?"

It was Natsuki, but her something in her voice sounded off. "Natsuki? Where have you been?"

"Hey, can I come over?"

"Yes, of course. Do you want me to pick you up?" The phone hung up before she got an answer and she felt anxious but happy she would be seeing her girlfriend again. She sat on her couch and waited patiently, though she was on edge and nervous, until the door opened and Natsuki stumbled in. She looked like she had been drinking, she was wearing a beat up leather jacket and her eyes were a bloodshot red. Shizuru's heart sank to see her.

"Hey, baby."

Natsuki's voice sounded terrible and Shizuru got up from the chair and wrapped her up in a hug. She kissed her and almost gagged on the taste of alcohol from her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Though her voice was less than convincing to Shizuru, who could practically feel the pain in her. Natsuki fell roughly onto the couch and Shizuru sat down next to her. She put her arm around Natsuki and held her close. "I missed you."

She laid her head on Shizuru's shoulder and only then did she realize she was shivering. "Natsuki, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"Just..." Natsuki's voice sounded unsure. "Can't we just enjoy ourselves for now?"

Shizuru wanted nothing more than that but worry kept gnawing at her and she couldn't let it go. "I want to help you."

"Well maybe I don't need your help." Natsuki pushed away from Shizuru and turned to face her. "I didn't come here to be lectured."

"Natsuki, I'm just worried about you."

"Well stop it. I'm fine." Natsuki crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked away from Shizuru.

"Come here." Shizuru relented and pulled her girlfriend on top of her on the couch. "I missed you, too."

They lay together after moving to the bedroom. Natsuki's eyes were closed and she lay against her. Shizuru had her arms around her girlfriend and kissed her forehead. She was thankful for her, even if she was still worried about her, having come to visit her but she couldn't shake the thought that something was happening with Natsuki. Something bad.

Over the next two weeks she saw it take a toll on her girlfriend. She would rarely see her, though she would talk to her on the phone when she could, and whenever she did she reeked of alcohol and looked like she hadn't slept in days. Whenever she would ask, Natsuki would always deflect her by saying 'I just want to enjoy our time together' or 'Can't we just be together like this'. As the weeks passed Natsuki got gradually angrier, sometimes she would lash out at Shizuru for seemingly no reason, as if blaming her for something she didn't even know she had done. Shizuru had to watch quietly as Natsuki slowly destroyed herself.

There was little she could do, however. Natsuki wouldn't talk to her about anything and she couldn't talk to any of her co workers about her relationship, none of them would understand, and she certainly couldn't talk to Saeko about it. She was still afraid of the older woman's reaction to her relationship with her daughter.

It was like this until a Friday night a week later. Shizuru was sitting on her couch trying to watch television to take her mind off of everything that was happening with Natsuki when her phone rang. She rushed to answer it. "Natsuki?"

"Shizuru? Help me..."

Shizuru hopped up from the couch, her adrenaline pumping and her heart beating like mad in her chest. Natsuki sounded terrible, her voice barely registered across the phone. It sounded like she was far away. "Where are you?"

"I don't know... I see some houses... they look expensive..."

Shizuru was tying her shoes as she spoke. "You can't see anything else that might help? A street sign or a landmark?"

There was a pause. "There's a two story house across the street and I see a sign. Burke..."

Shizuru knew where that was and was already running out of the door and out to her car. "I think I know where you are. I'm coming to get you, just hang in there. Okay?"

"Shizuru..." Natsuki's voice sounded weaker by the second. "I'm sorry..."

"Just hang on for me, okay baby. I'm coming for you."

Tires screamed as Shizuru whipped her car around and hit the road as fast as she could, exceeding the speed limit by percentages as she tore through the city streets to the outskirts of town. She spun around what turns she could, pushing her own driving skills on her way out to Burke street. Once she found it she spotted Natsuki sitting against a nearby lamppost. She looked terrible, her clothes were dirty, as was her hair, and she looked like she had been in a fight, she could see bruises on her bare arms and what looked like dried blood on her collar. Shizuru's heart sank when she spotted her.

The car screeched to a halt. Shizuru hopped out and ran to Natsuki, taking the younger girl into her arms and hugging her close. Natsuki's bloodshot eyes looked up at her, a weak smile tried to crawl across her face. "Hey."

Shizuru knew there were tears in her eyes but it didn't matter at that moment. All she was worried about was Natsuki. Shizuru picked her up easily and carried her to the car. "I'm taking you to the hospital."

Natsuki wasn't in a position to argue. Shizuru laid her gently in the back of her car and took off towards the hospital. They admitted her quickly and Shizuru sat in the waiting room, wondering if she should call Saeko. She would be worried about her daughter, to be sure, but she wondered what her reaction would be to her own presence, if she would question what she was to Natsuki. Before long the doctor came out to greet her. "Ms. Fujino?" Shizuru stood up, ready for the news. "She seems to be fine, no major injuries to speak of. We did find something interesting in her bloodwork, though. We found traces of Rohypnol..."

"Are you telling me she was drugged?"

"It would appear that way. She seems to have some memory loss and disorientation consistent with the effects of the drug."

Shizuru's worry decreased knowing that Natsuki was going to be okay but she found a new emotion took it's place, anger. "Can I see her now?"

"Sure, she's still awake."

Shizuru followed the doctor down sterile white hallways until they found the room that Natsuki was in. There was a curtain pulled around another bed and a smell like death seeped from it but Shizuru ignored that as her eyes were all on Natsuki, who smiled when she saw her. "Hey, babe."

Shizuru's anger only increased at seeing her condition. She sat down next to Natsuki and took her hand in hers. "What happened, Natsuki? Who did this to you?" She tried to keep her rising anger from her voice but it still sounded sharper than she had meant it to.

Natsuki's brow scrunched up like she was thinking. "I don't really remember."

Shizuru didn't accept that answer. She had tried to be nice but she needed answers, her anger demanded it. "Bullshit." Her voice was hard, her tone said that she would have no nonsense. "This has happened before and I know damn well you know who did it now tell me."

Natsuki's look turned from confusion to guilt. She looked down at her chest when she spoke. "It was Nao. She said if I didn't go with her she'd tell everyone about us. She said you'd be fired or worse and I never wanted to hurt you, Shizuru. I had to go."

Shizuru's chest felt tight and her words caught in her throat. She remembered the call she had received nearly two weeks ago and realized that it was all her fault. Natsuki had called her looking for support but Shizuru had been hesitant to answer. Now Natsuki was lying in a hospital bed and it was her fault. The realization hit her like a ten ton hammer and she suddenly felt like she was sinking into darkness, her mouth opened and closed without her speaking. She had no words left to say. "I'm so sorry, Natsuki." Her eyes were watering over. "It's my fault. It's all my fault."

"I wanted to protect you."

"I don't care about any of that. A job is a job, I can find another one. I don't care who knows about us and I don't care about anything else but you. I should have said that but I didn't, and now..."

Natsuki gripped her hand tighter. "I did it because I love you, Shizuru, and I'd do it a hundred times more if I had to."

Shizuru's heart did a backflip in her chest. She leaned over and kissed Natsuki gently. "I love you too, Natsuki."

Natsuki smiled, then she laid her head back and closed her eyes. "I'm tired."

Shizuru gently ran a hand through Natsuki's hair. "Go to sleep, baby."

Shizuru watched her sleep for several minutes before she rose from the chair. She spotted Natsuki's cellphone on a nearby counter and subtely scooped it into her pocket. Once clear of the hospital building she opened it and found Nao's number. The phone rang twice before it was answered. "Natsuki..."

"Where can I find you?"

There was silence over the phone. When she spoke again it was with a serious tone. She spoke her address followed by, "Come find me".

Shizuru was angry, her blood was screaming for vengeance and she was tempted to give in. She drove to the address she had been given and found a relatively ramshackle, single story house. The paint was peeled in places and the porch looked as if it would fall down at any minute. She looked around her and noticed that most of the houses on the block were in a similar condition and wondered exactly where she had found herself.

As she pulled in front of it a red-haired girl walked away from the porch and stopped halfway towards the car, her dark green eyes never left hers, a cocky smirk spread across her face. Shizuru got out of the car and approached, her shoulders raised and her eyes burning holes through the girl.

"So, I guess Natsuki talked. Then I guess you know what I'm going to do if you..."

Shizuru closed the distance between them before she stopped talking and swung at Nao. The girl wasn't expecting it and Shizuru connected with her chest, knocking her back and taking the wind out of her. Nao tried to fight back but she was amateur and something about the way Shizuru moved said she was a pro; when Nao swung at her Shizuru seemed to not be there and whenever she struck it was precise and powerful, her hits feeling like being hit with a hammer. She backed Nao up closer to her house until the wall was at her back, she was bleeding from the nose and mouth and was favoring her right side where Shizuru had likely broken a rib.

Shizuru grabbed Nao by the throat and lifted her against the house, holding the girl off her feet using the house as leverage. She tightened her grip around her windpipe. Nao tried to fight her off but couldn't, her punches and kicks grew more feeble as the oxygen left her lungs. Shizuru looked into her eyes and saw her panic, her eyes wide with fear. Shizuru wanted to snap her neck, wanted to end the person who had hurt her love but she held back. Her training kicked in and she took in several deep breaths before releasing Nao's windpipe.

When she released her Nao slid down the wall and fell to the ground, coughing and gasping for air. She stood over Nao as the young girl drew away from her. "If you come near my girlfriend again," her voice was steel and her eyes were cold with anger and power, "I'll kill you."

Every molecule in her being meant those words, seeing Natsuki in a bed and knowing that she had perpetrated it had set Shizuru's blood boiling but seeing the look of fear in Nao's eyes then had a calming effect on her. She turned and walked back to her car, pulling away from the house confident that her message had been received loud and clear.

-TOUCH-

Shizuru made her way through the chaotic hallways of the hospital and stood at the door to Natsuki's room. She opened the door and entered, greeted by a pair of green eyes that didn't belong to Natsuki. They looked confused. "Shizuru?" Saeko Kuga stood from the chair beside Natsuki's bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I," Shizuru was stuck. She didn't necessarily want Saeko to know about her and Natsuki, she had no idea what kind of reaction Saeko would have had, but her hesitation had put Natsuki in that bed and the doubt still gnawed at the edges of her consciousness. She reasoned that a little lie would get her passed this and swore to herself she would come clean to the woman later on. "I found her hurt on the side of the road. I didn't know she was your daughter."

Saeko's expression turned to suspicion. "How did you know she was my daughter?"

Shizuru realized he blunder and moved quickly to correct it. "You two look alike. A lot alike." It was no lie, Shizuru had noticed it before in the picture but seeing the two of them in the same room she didn't know if she could pick them apart out of a lineup, excepting Saeko's age of course. They shared many common features, but Saeko's eyes were a darker shade of green than Natsuki's, Shizuru found that she didn't fall into them like her girlfriend's eyes.

"Yeah, we get that a lot." Saeko's expression changed to a smile and she stepped forward, giving Shizuru a somewhat awkward hug. It was apparent to Shizuru that Saeko didn't have much experience hugging anyone and wondered if she had ever hugged Natsuki before. Her expression turned soft. "Thank you." Before Shizuru could ask why, Saeko sat back down in the chair, her hands on the railing of the hospital bed. "I don't deserve her. All I've ever done is hurt her, and I can't help but feel that this is my fault." Shizuru wanted to say something, to say that she felt the same way, but couldn't. It would contradict her earlier lie. "I heard her playing that guitar of hers again. She sings too, beautifully." She could see a tear fall down Saeko's face and wondered if that was the first tear the woman had ever cried. "It's my fault..."

Shizuru put a comforting hand on Saeko's shoulder, her own eyes starting to water. Saeko shook the tears off and wiped her eyes. "When she wakes up, I'm going to do better by her. I'll help her get better, as long as it takes."

The words echoed the feelings in Shizuru's heart. "So will I." She muttered under her breath, Saeko was too far into her own guilt to hear her. "I'll be here as long as it takes because I love you."


End file.
